Human Target

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
The Unsinkable Train

"FOUR WEEKS LATER" a character we don't know (played by Chi McBride) rides a cargo elevator into an implausibly huge loft, where he's greeted by his dog, Carmine. Sure, the dog gets a name. Chair Guy strolls into the room without a shirt (a little something for the ladies!) and says, "Morning, Winston. Checking up on me?" Okay, so Chi McBride is Winston. And the dog, who looks a lot like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, is Carmine. Winston insists that he wasn't worried about Chair Guy and was only stopping by to feed Carmine. They have some more manly banter and it turns out the Lydecker's payment came in the form of $900 bottles of whiskey. Winston thinks that's ridiculous, even if the plan was to get payment in under-the-table methods other than cash. Also, Winston thinks Chair Guy is slipping. Why didn't he kill the bad guy before the vest was armed? Chair Guy brags about knowing where the Bearing Wall was and how long the homemade fuse would take, blah blah blah. So he's very good at his job. Fine. I still think he should have a name. Winston leaves to talk to a new potential client, although he plans to tell said client that they're closed.

New location! A woman (Tricia Helfer) fidgets with a ring while she tells Winston that her car was wired to explode. She runs the design team for MacNamara Engineering, who made the California Bullet Train, which has its first trip tomorrow. It's very expensive and controversial, or so says this guy who's sitting next to the woman. He's her husband, although neither of them have names, apparently. He's also got some job with MacNamara, although what it is doesn't actually get mentioned. The police haven't assigned enough people, so they need to hire the best. Winston tells them they're not taking on any new clients, but just then! Chair Guy strolls in and takes the job. He expositions a bit, so here's his speech:

"I work with a cover. Blend into the background. Let you appear vulnerable so the threat reveals itself, and then eliminate the threat."

With that out of the way, we also learn that the train goes 200 mph. That's apparently enough to convince Chair Guy to take the case.

Opening credits!

Okay, here we are at the San Francisco Terminal of the Monterey Line. A voiceover establishes Chair Guy's cover identity for this job: he's Tony Graham, the personal Japanese translator for the woman. I'll call him Tony, I guess. In the terminal, she looks surprised to learn that he speaks Japanese. As they walk away, Tony brags about how he can recognize individual Japanese dialects. Frankly, it sounded to me like he learned his lines phonetically, but I'll let it slide. Then they get onto the train as Tony voiceovers (it is being told exclusively in voiceovers!) that she'll be in a confined space, and so will whoever's out to get her. Incidentally, McG is an Executive Producer of this show. That makes this the second McG joint I've recapped, since I did the first Charlie's Angels movie as an Ally McBeal Extra. That recap isn't up anymore, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

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Human Target




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