Have we already given up on Christopher Chance, bodyguard? You know, the guy who would protect his client by becoming some kind of "human target" and lure the baddies out into the light where he could take them out? I ask because this time out we appear to be using an old A-Team script, with Guerrero as Murdock, Chance as Hannibal and Face, and Winston as B.A. Winston doesn't do much B.A. stuff except argue with the crazy guy, but he's the only big black guy in the cast.
So here's the deal: we're in a generic Latin American Country, and Chance is caught between the rebels and the army. He's here to rescue a twitchy professor named Doug, who's discovered forty million dollars in gold. And when Chance takes Doug to his old flame Maria, she tries to steal the money for the rebellion. Isn't that always the way?
So there's this guy named "Bertram" who's out for the gold, and he chases Chance all over this unnamed Latin American country. Eventually (after killing about ten goons), Chance makes it to a secret airfield where he has to create an elaborate deathtrap from common household objects. It's a little more MacGyver than A-Team, except that he uses dynamite. Then there's a really very unlikely skyhook rescue and everyone wins! Except Bertram, although I think he should be grateful he didn't blow up like all of his goons did.
Hello! Welcome Camp Lacayo Military Base in scenic "South America." You know, like the generic "South America" that the A-Team was always going to. And inside one of the tents, there's a twitchy-looking guy in handcuffs. I'll just tell you right now his name is Doug. A creepy guy enters and tells him that the mysteriously vague "item" he found in the forest is "an honest-to-goodness Pandora's box" and offers to "make all this go away" if he gets the item. Meanwhile, someone, presumably Chance, creeps through the camp thugging people out. Then he comes in and gets rid of Bertram before pulling the twitchy guy out of the tent.
As Chance leads Doug out of the camp, they're stopped by someone who doesn't buy his story about a prisoner transfer. Chance makes up a story (en Español!) about that soldier being left out of the loop. He seems to buy it, then wants to go ask someone. So Chance knocks him out, opens Twitchy's handcuffs with an invisible hairpin, and drives the jeep around the camp while a million soldiers fire automatic weapons at them from ten feet away. Finally, he sets off an explosion and they're out! This is where the A-Team theme song would sound good. [Yeah, too bad the Human Target theme song is so maudlin. - Zach]
Chance calls Winston, who is glowering next to a private jet. Chance wants Winston to get ready to flee. Winston explains to Guerrero (who is there so Winston has someone to explain things to) that they're on this mission because someone named Maria (a mysterious woman from Chance's past) called them. Oh, and the jet's pilot is off getting them "a deal on a refuel." Meanwhile, a shady guy watches Winston and Guerrero from the edge of the airfield.
In Chance's jeep, Twitchy Doug knows Maria. She runs a bar. Twitchy turns out to be an anthropologist who discovered... something. Instead of just explaining what it is, he has Chance pull off to the side of the road. It has something to do with "the late Juan Sandoval," who ran whatever country they're in until he died in a plane crash. Also, it might not be "Sandoval". It's something that sounds pretty close to that, though.
Back at the army base, they're now talking in heavily accented English rather than Spanish. The guy in charge (they call him "the colonel") is berating one of his minions, but he's interrupted by Bertram, who knows that three Americans are in the country and two of them are still at the airport. We see Bertram's business card, which just says "BERTRAM -- Salvage & Reclamation". The Colonel shoots his minion and asks Bertram for more information. I think Bertram was supposed to be intimidated, but he isn't.