Human Target

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
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Raiders of the Lost Jungle
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Hello! Welcome Camp Lacayo Military Base in scenic "South America." You know, like the generic "South America" that the A-Team was always going to. And inside one of the tents, there's a twitchy-looking guy in handcuffs. I'll just tell you right now his name is Doug. A creepy guy enters and tells him that the mysteriously vague "item" he found in the forest is "an honest-to-goodness Pandora's box" and offers to "make all this go away" if he gets the item. Meanwhile, someone, presumably Chance, creeps through the camp thugging people out. Then he comes in and gets rid of Bertram before pulling the twitchy guy out of the tent.

As Chance leads Doug out of the camp, they're stopped by someone who doesn't buy his story about a prisoner transfer. Chance makes up a story (en EspaƱol!) about that soldier being left out of the loop. He seems to buy it, then wants to go ask someone. So Chance knocks him out, opens Twitchy's handcuffs with an invisible hairpin, and drives the jeep around the camp while a million soldiers fire automatic weapons at them from ten feet away. Finally, he sets off an explosion and they're out! This is where the A-Team theme song would sound good. [Yeah, too bad the Human Target theme song is so maudlin. - Zach]

Chance calls Winston, who is glowering next to a private jet. Chance wants Winston to get ready to flee. Winston explains to Guerrero (who is there so Winston has someone to explain things to) that they're on this mission because someone named Maria (a mysterious woman from Chance's past) called them. Oh, and the jet's pilot is off getting them "a deal on a refuel." Meanwhile, a shady guy watches Winston and Guerrero from the edge of the airfield.

In Chance's jeep, Twitchy Doug knows Maria. She runs a bar. Twitchy turns out to be an anthropologist who discovered... something. Instead of just explaining what it is, he has Chance pull off to the side of the road. It has something to do with "the late Juan Sandoval," who ran whatever country they're in until he died in a plane crash. Also, it might not be "Sandoval". It's something that sounds pretty close to that, though.

Back at the army base, they're now talking in heavily accented English rather than Spanish. The guy in charge (they call him "the colonel") is berating one of his minions, but he's interrupted by Bertram, who knows that three Americans are in the country and two of them are still at the airport. We see Bertram's business card, which just says "BERTRAM -- Salvage & Reclamation". The Colonel shoots his minion and asks Bertram for more information. I think Bertram was supposed to be intimidated, but he isn't.

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Human Target

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