Humpty Dumpty

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All The King's Houses

Mac's back, and he's got a new doctor. He tells House that he didn't fill "that Oreo's" prescription, and House takes a minute to figure out whether Mac's actually saying that he doesn't trust black doctors. He says he'll be giving Mac the same prescription Foreman did, and that maybe Mac will fill it now that a white person is recommending it. Mac says that he's not going to take a "racist drug." House is baffled as to how a drug that helps black people more than it does white people is racist. Obviously, it's racist against white people. Good for Mac for sticking up for us. He makes a reasonable argument to the effect that black and white people are the same inside, so they shouldn't be getting different drugs. Instead of patiently explaining to Mac what the differences are or giving him a pamphlet with more information, House just says that, based on the last ninety seconds of his life, he's come to the conclusion that all black people are morons. Mac gets up to leave, and House tosses the prescription out and writes a new one. It's "the same medicine we give Republicans," he says. Mac takes it happily.

Back in Alfredo's room, Alfredo thinks he's getting better. Cameron does not agree. Nor does Manny, who says -- against Alfredo's wishes -- that Alfie hasn't peed in a day. Cameron is alarmed, probably because it's pretty scary to work in a hospital where even simple bodily functions like urination aren't monitored. It's probably scarier to be a patient there. Also, it's pretty ridiculous to make us think a hospital could be so lax, when I know for a fact that hospitals send at least one urine sample per ICU patient down to the lab for testing every day because I was the person who had to take it out of the pneumatic tube delivery system and marvel at how nurses were unable to master the art of securing a lid to a container so that the biohazard bag and quite possibly the pneumatic tubes themselves weren't coated with sick-people piss that I would have to touch and smell. Cameron, looking terrified, says she's going to give Alfie a "rest" from his deadly medicine. Mom, whose knowledge of English is very selective, españols that she finds it odd that they're taking Alfie off the medicine that's supposed to cure him. Cameron nervously says she's just making a little adjustment, and practically runs out of the room.

Waiting outside is House, and Cameron screams to him that Alfie isn't peeing, which probably means that the fungal-pneumonia medicine destroyed his kidneys. "I THINK HE'S DYING!!!!" she screams, and wouldn't you know it? Mother is listening to the conversation, although, based on how loudly Cameron said that, there are probably people in the real Southern California who are going "Who's dying?" right now. Mama bursts into tears and runs back into the room. "Guess she understands a little English," House obviouses, and Cameron looks kind of sick. I think we should all be really proud of her for managing to work through her inability to give a patient bad news to such an extent that it's inappropriate and harmful to the patient, and has made a complete one-eighty to giving her patient, his family, the entire ICU, and half the Western Hemisphere the bad news prematurely to the point that it's inappropriate and harmful to the patient. I'm sure she'll find a happy medium somewhere around Season 7.

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