Humpty Dumpty

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All The King's Houses

Cuddy and House return to Stacy's office, where House reports that he and Cuddy are both so "in sync" that they're "wearing each other's underwear." Pink thongs for everyone! The consensus is "chop-chop time." Cuddy, who has taken the resigned sitting position for cowed and chastised emotional women, just stares at the floor. Stacy thinks they should "convene a meeting of the Ethics Committee," and House and I both scream "NO!" Can you imagine how boring that would have been? And who's on the Ethics Committee, anyway? Hopefully not any women who can't think clearly when emotions are involved. House accuses Stacy of making a decision based on her desire for House to be wrong, and says he did everything she asked, so he should get his gosh-darned surgery. Stacy looks at Cuddy, who's still looking at the floor. "Lisa," she says, because we can refer to our male colleagues by their last names, but when it comes to women, it's all about the personal emotional appeal that comes with using a first name. Cuddy just says she wants to be the one to tell Alfie and his family that his right hand will soon be no más.

Looking not unlike she did when she gave House similar news, Cuddy explains to Alfie that bacteria are eating his hand, and that they will spread to the rest of his body unless they're removed. With a power saw. Alfie asks if he'll be cured once they cut off his hand, and Cuddy, whose sympathy voice sounds kind of drunk, says no, not even a little bit. They still don't know what's making him sick in the first place. But he won't die of gangrene! Mama, who must have read a medical textbook when she was trying to learn English as a second language, cries. Alfie says he quit school to work so that his family could have enough money. Even though he knew he'd never get a good job that paid enough to buy his own house like Cuddy's does (and if anything, haven't we all learned that it's not all it's cracked up to be, with its leaky roof and the moldy sink?), he did it so that Manny could stay in school and make something of himself. Cuddy says that Manny doesn't necessarily have to quit school, forgetting to add that it would also be totally illegal if he did anyway since he's still only twelve. No one believes Cuddy anyway. Alfie says that if Cuddy's sure that his hand needs to go, then he will trust her.

Mama sings Alfie a Spanish lullaby as he drifts off. Then he's in surgery having his hand cut off in a special hand-removal-Spanish-lullaby-Cuddy-watching-House-thinking montage.

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