Tanya finds a "bitch" (Ray's word) she used to temp for who's now a personal shopper. Tanya (or "T Brain" as the bitch calls her) offers her sex services to Lenore's shopping clients. But she won't recommend anything she hasn't tried intimately first. Tanya has to train him first, ever so briefly. It almost leads to a kiss, but he won't let that happen since they're in "business." Ray shows up at Lenore's, and she seems pleased with his appearance (though she does insult his rather dashing suit). She orders him around a lot, he says his name is Richard (she asks to call him Dick, giving us one half of the episode's double title) and they have sex until he's exhausted. Afterward, he vows to stick around for ten minutes, per Tanya's instructions not to leave immediately after. He doesn't wake up until the next morning, when he can't find his shirt or wallet. He finds the shirt, but the wallet's still missing. He gets a false scare at work when the principal calls him in to reprimand him for saying shit during his pre-game inspirational speech last week. She does spot his hickey, though. When Tanya finally calls, Ray tells her it was exhausting and "vaguely pleasant," which he'll upgrade to good if she gets his wallet back. She promises to, and then tells him they should make $1 million. He's game.
In the very tertiary secondary storyline, Jessica tries to bond with her kids by getting them music solos that they don't want and getting all touchy-feely (she compliments goth Damon's skulls). She complains about her life and how much is missing to Ronnie while he gives her botox injections. It doesn't go anywhere, but it's surely leading back to her wanting Ray back. Which will lead to something much larger than a love triangle, since by then he's likely to be sleeping with all of Lenore's clients. Or, you know, his real identity will be posted all over the Internet. I guess it depends on how that whole "getting the wallet back" thing goes. We'll find out next week.
Ray opens the episode with a voiceover, in which he quotes Yogi Berra: "When you come to a fork in the road... take it." Music starts on a close-up of Ray's dark purple hickey. He's in what appears to be the teachers' lounge, and a lot of people are lamenting some other teacher losing his job. The assistant coach who ran the system for Ray in the first episode comes over and asks Ray what's on his neck. Ray says it's a bruise or something, but the assistant says it looks like a hickey. Ray calls him Mike, and then asks if he can still see it. Mike says he still can. Then Mike laments the fact that poor Stanley (who is a big dweeb with a mustard-colored vest, a middle part, and glasses) was let go. Ray tells him not to worry, because basketball's more important than art, so their jobs are safe. Someone calls Coach Drecker to the principal's office over the intercom. Uh-oh. (I love this show so far, but do I wish it would cool it with those on-the-nose moments.)
On his way to the principal's office, in a hallway crowded with students, Ray loudly yells into his phone at Tanya's voicemail. He's like her to call him back, please, since this is the third message he's left her. He says this is serious, since his work is looking for reasons to lay people off, and he has "a fuckin' hickey!" He walks into the principal's office, where the school-marmish principal asks him to please close the door. He does so hesitantly. He's worried it's about the losing streak, and starts to apologize, but she stares at him blankly (though she does let him blather on before telling him it's not the losing streak). He asks what it's about then, and she starts in that it's disturbing to think about how the kids look up to him and that he's supposed to be a role model. Before she can finish, Ray's VO wonders how things got so fucked up in only one week. Hmmm, I don't know, maybe because you became a whore a week ago? That might do it.
We flashback briefly to Ray having sex with someone who appears to be hanging off his neck like a lamprey eel. Then we're in his burnt house, where a guy tells him that everything's moldy and the stench will be unbearable, so it has to be gutted. He says if Ray gets it done cheaply, the smell won't go away. Ray asks how much, and the guy (whose name is Brian) tells him he can do it for 30, or maybe 25 grand. Ray appeals to the fact that they played ball together and he'd like the Wolfpack price. Brian says this is the competitive price. Ray says he pays a ton on the mortgage (he pulls his mortgage out of his pocket and looks at it so that we viewers will see he's past due and facing eviction). Brian says the Wolfpack price is 25 grand, with 10 percent to start. Ray's VO explains that what he regrets the most is the loan they took out on the place, since his parents gave it to them free and clear. He goes on about the ARM and home equity, blah blah blah bad economy cakes. It's basically the situation that someone every one of us knows is in (except for the whole house-burned-down-so-I-turned-to-male-prostitution part).