Hung

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | 1672 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Ponzi Prostituting
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's nighttime on the lake. Ray bursts out of his tent in apparent pain and takes a leak in the water. Koontz walks to the property line and asks Ray mid-leak if he is in fact urinating in the water. Ray gruffly asks him if there's a problem. Koontz reminds him that public urination is illegal. He also tells Ray to think of the lakefront property owners and the children that swim in the lake. Yes, the children. Children who never pee when they swim. That said, peeing in the lake is much like listening to Celine Dion. Yes, you do it. But, when someone catches you, the only civilized thing to do is be contrite about it. Ray tells Koontz that he has been peeing in that lake since he was three, before Koontz ever even heard of Michigan. He adds that he was freezing his balls off and didn't feel like walking to his house (he should've led with that) and why is Koontz watching him in the middle of the night? Koontz, indignant, informs Ray that he gets up very early every morning to work out. You know, Koontz is actually right here. Who wants to spend tons of money on a mansion on a pee lake? Nobody. Koontz says that he hopes Ray won't break the law again and they separate.

The next day, at school, Ray and Jessica walk down the hall discussing the kids. Ray tells Jessica that they can't make teenagers do what they want them to do. Jessica sarcastically replies that she supposes she's supposed to be happy with her daughter dating a guy named Hammer and her son listening to "death music." Ray tells her that she has too much time on her hands. Huh, that's funny. I thought Ray was actually bothered by the Hammer thing too. And, he's certainly not pleased with the cosmetic accoutrements of the Goth scene. Ray says that the kids just think they are pains in their asses and Jessica snaps that he should be their parent and not a buddy. She says that this is the "danger zone" and he should think of their kids. He says that she has NO IDEA what he does for their kids. She says that she's late for her booster meeting and fuck him. She had me until that last part. Here's a problem I have: Ray is an idiot. There's not really enough evidence here that his big dick is the only option he has for advancing himself. He's constantly in conflict with others, which makes me think that if he spent a little time trying to build some social capital he wouldn't have to be a whore. So, kids, try being nice to people and see where that gets you before you start turning tricks. Ray VO's that if he had a dollar for every time he watched Jessica walk away... I think you know what the answer is.

Hung

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