The students at Ray's school choose him as the recipient of their fall fundraiser. The twins seem fairly mortified by the whole thing. He received over $200 from the students. Jessica visits Ray's house and witnesses the devastation. She is taking Darby out the next night (which is Ray's night with her) because she is having problems with Hammer.
Ray hasn't given an answer to Tanya about whether or not he's still in the biz and is willing to try out Lenore's contacts. Tanya, apparently committing to her new career as a pimp with or without Ray's participation, meets with the first of Lenore's contacts. It's Tony-nominee Margo Martindale! In an effort to appear that she has a stable of escorts, Tanya tells the lady that she will pick the escort that is right for her. She really sells her services to the lady, Molly, so she agrees to patronize. However, she wants a guy with a really big dick, which is lucky. This time, Tanya makes sure to get paid up front. She finally gets hold of Ray and convinces him to give the happiness consulting business another go. He freaks out because Molly is old, so he tells her that he's ill and can't perform.
Damon, Darby and Jessica are getting their nails done later when Darby says that Hammer is mad at her because she wouldn't have sex with him. Jessica tries to relate to her, but Darby's having none of it. Lenore is taking a call from Molly in the chair next to them and is using some raunchy language to describe her unhappiness with Ray ditching his appointment with her. Jessica asks her to temper her language and Lenore in turn gives her a business card, in case she ever wants an outfit to match the stick up her ass.
Ray goes to Tanya's place to recuperate and mentions that Molly is not his "type." Tanya says that's an insulting point-of-view and tells him to get over it.
Mrs. Koontz makes goo-goo eyes at Ray when he's working on his house.
Ray takes the twins to a drive-in, where Darby sees Hammer. Damon gets into a fight with him and Ray breaks it up. Darby defends Hammer and goes after him. Damon gets really upset and cries on Ray's shoulder, because sometimes life is too much.
While jogging, Ray bumps into Floyd Gerber and says hello to him. Floyd says that Ray is a quitter and Tanya doesn't need to be around people like that, because she's going places. When he can't afford a structural beam for his house, he goes to his rescheduled appointment with Molly. She stops and says that she can't think of intercourse without thinking of her husband. He's about to leave and offers to just sit with her, so they do. Then, he shows her his stuff and she decides that she wants it. Ray, high on the thrill of a new profession that he is good at, tells Tanya (who is high herself on the possibility of not having to work her temp job forever) that he's going to his second appointment of the evening.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then ponder with vlogger Sean Crespo what might come to pass if Ray's member becomes self-aware in No Prior Knowledge. And check back next week for our full weecap!
Here's Ray jogging on a foggy morning. Next, we're watching a school assembly in the cafeteria at West Lakefield. A girl is presenting a slide show of Ray (heh, high school picture -- has "Ray" had a nose job?) and telling the story of how Ray was a star athlete at West Lakefield. She says that, after Ray went to college, he returned to the school. Ray VO's that she's leaving out the most impressive part -- his stint with the Atlanta Braves before the ligament injury. He also thinks that the girl made him look like a turd. I'm not sure that almost-professional baseball player is lower than educator. He thinks the girl should have talked about how he touched and almost tasted greatness. The girl talks about what an inspiration Ray is and how he will always be there. Ray actually finds this embarrassing, as if he were the designated guy to live and die at that school. Why is this girl talking? Ray is the recipient of the proceeds from the Student Council Fall fundraiser. That's horrible. Darby and Damon are looking on with embarrassment, but I'm surprised that they even came to school that day. Another kid hands Ray a pickle jar full of cash and says dryly that the money should be able to buy a beam for his roof, depending on the quality of the wood. That said, Ray doesn't even really smile when he accepts the pickle jar. They washed cars all day for that money, Ray!
Tanya leaves a message for Ray, begging him to get back to her. She wants an answer one way or the other about whether Ray is still a whore. Next, she's meeting at a restaurant with one of the contacts that Lenore gave her. The woman (played by the amazing Margo Martindale) asks Tanya if she has pictures of her stable of happiness givers. No, Tanya says that she chooses the right person for her clients. Molly, the client, just wants somebody normal -- no freaks allowed. Tanya says that she would never have a freak working for her. Tanya has her patter down. She tells Molly that she's a normal person just like Molly -- so their ideas of normal will be similar. She says that she would never want a muscle-bound, shiny, probably gay guy gyrating on her. And, here is where Tanya and I part ways. I kid! She also tells Molly that the anonymity of sex ads is a turnoff for her as well. But, sometimes she's feeling sexy and wants life to be "simple." Seriously, she's making a very good case for prostitution, at least on the side of the patron. Also, just as a business plan, she's doing an excellent job of selling her expertise, instead of a particular ho's. It's like how Law & Order stays popular with a revolving cast. She gives Molly a refrigerator magnet with the Happiness Consultant logo on it. It's a simple smiley face with a bow. It's winking. Cute stuff. Molly giggles at the magnet then asks Tanya to make sure she gets a guy with a big "wiener." Lenore apparently mentioned that her technician was packing. She says that she gets enough "teeny-weeny" and she doesn't even want medium sized. Sister's looking for a grande burrito. Jesus help me with the fucking puns. I can't stop it. The western hemisphere of my soul just died. Tanya tells Molly that she will not be disappointed.