Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
Don’t Want No Short Short Escort

Ray is lying in Tanya's bathtub and it seems that he may actually be sick. I thought he was just weirded out by Molly's age and stuff. He sees some hair sticking out of her razor and tells himself to not think of where it came from. Wow, they love to make her just seem so gross, don't they? It's a good thing Jane Adams is such a freaking brilliant actor or jokes like that would just seem mean. We're mammals, asshole, we all have hair. Tanya comes into the bathroom and, without looking, puts some tea on the edge of the tub. He says that he should have gotten a Z-pack, but she says that antibiotics are for chickens. He tells her to turn around -- he's not shy. Tanya wonders aloud if Ray's sickness is psychosomatic, because he got sick right before he was supposed to perform. He says that he doesn't have any problem performing. Well, now he's going to have two appointments in one night. "Child's play." She tells him that he will have Molly at 8 and another person at 11. He kinda grunts that Molly isn't his "type." Tanya stiffly asks what his type is. Someone who seems like she's sexually active. She correct him, his type is someone he wants to be sexually active with, which she finds very insulting.

She goes into the kitchen and Ray follows her with a towel that he doesn't really use. Oh good, another one of those scenes where we look at Thomas Jane's ass a lot like he's about to turn around and show us his HBO scenario. He's not going to though. You know it. Ray says that he has "rights" regarding whom he sleeps with, but she says that Happiness Consultants does not discriminate. They can't control who the client looks like and it's Ray's job to power through.,

Ray and the kids are at the drive-in. It's a horror movie. Ray is wearing a surgical mask in the car. "Who needs Mamma Mia, huh?" Darby tells him that his mask is distracting, so he takes it off. Darby asks why outdoor movies are so gross and Ray explains that gore plays well on big screens. That's fairly astute for a... Ray. Suddenly, Darby sees a boy and girl walking by. She storms out of the car saying she needs popcorn. Ray asks what's going on and Damon says it's Hammer. He goes after Darby.

At the concessions, Darby is watching Hammer from afar. Dude is chubs and has no business talking about anybody's thighs. Damon catches up with her and tells her to forget about him and come back to the car, but she tells him to shut up. Hammer sees Darby and she says hello. Tracie, the girl with him, introduces herself but Darby doesn't respond to her. Darby asks to talk to him and he says, "Now?" Ray decides to get out of his car around now.

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