Assuming that the challenge will involve eating disgusting things, the Gold Team figures out who will be paired with whom. Writing her own punch lines, Toastee says she will put anything in her mouth. Pumkin concurs that Toastee will definitely down some shit if $250 grand is at stake. To which I say, "$250 grand? Try $3.50 and a bag of Corn Nuts." So the pairs include Rodeo and Hoopz, Pumkin and Toastee, and Heather and 12 Pack. The Entertainer plans to go it alone. He believes eating Chihuahua testicles will be his red badge of courage, and he knows that if he doesn't step up he'll be imperiled.
The Green Team plans to pair one teammate who will swallow seriously disgusting stuff with one teammate who won't. The first three pairs are Heat and Destiney, Megan and Whiteboy, and Brandi C. and Real. Chance continues to prove his worthlessness by picking Boston as his partner -- only someone as lazy and useless as Chance would tap Boston to be the official team strongman. He affirms in an interview that he in no uncertain terms refuses to participate.
At the challenge, the new captains introduce themselves, and CJ asks them to discuss their teams' methodologies. The Entertainer summons his Shakespearean eloquence, summing up, "They... can work good [sic] together... they claim. I believe them." For the Green Team, Boston explains that teammates with, shall we say, more adventurous palates will compensate for their weaker partners. CJ compliments the Green Team's strategizing prowess.
Then he pulls the rug out from under them. He says that this, like all the other challenges on the show, is based on a memorable moment from one of the three VH1 serials that spawned this ugly, humiliated mutt of a show. Today's challenge was inspired by a kiss between New York and Flavor Flav that lasted more than 90 minutes, and whaddaya know? We get a 30-second flashback of said kiss. Excuse me for just a moment, will you? (Insert heaving sounds here.)
The challenge is called "The Kiss-Off," and it's a good, old-fashioned kissing marathon. Heather and 12 Pack, Heat and Destiney laugh at the expense of the others, while Chance does a quintuple take and raises his homophobia flag. To be fair, it might not be homophobia so much as utter disgust at the prospect of making out with Mr. Boston. Frankly, I wouldn't kiss him either...
Chance vows not to participate. Unsurprisingly, Boston is game for kissing Chance, as long as they don't have to use tongues. I would also recommend he get some rubbing alcohol -- and maybe some white-hot flames -- to cleanse his tongue afterward. On the list of all things disgusting, diseased, and abnormal that could approach Boston's lips, Chance's tongue is pretty high up. Everyone continues to laugh Carrie-style at Chance, and he recedes further into Fred Phelps territory by telling Boston not to even look at him. Chance shrugs the challenge off, saying it's silly. To which I ask, "What show do you think you're on?!"