During this week's challenge the contestants must "Save the Mac." What the hell are they talking about? In Season Two of I Love New York, Midget Mac almost got his hair wet until someone jumped in and saved him. This challenge involves saving a dummy Midget Mac. Toastee and Pumkin have no interest in saving even a fake Midget Mac after all his smack talking. Toastee points out that the dummy is bigger and smarter than Mac. The challenge is a relay race to grab the four dummies out of the water, throw the dummy on a backboard and drag him to shore. Since the Gold Team has so many members, two have to sit out. Rodeo volunteers because she doesn't feel well (it's called old age, honey) and The Entertainer sits out, too. The teams take a moment to strategize. But strategy doesn't help when your team members swim worse than an overweight Welsh Corgi. 12 Pack and his tiny swim trunks dive in and gets to the doll quickly and efficiently. Chance and his life vest and goggles kicks and paddles and barely manages to stay afloat. It's a sad start to the competition for the Green Team. Chance claims it's a dog paddle, but it's more like a bug on a pin.
12 Pack grabs the furthest of the four dummies (strategy!) while Chance grabs the second closest, but beats 12 Pack to shore. Next up is Heather versus Megan. Megan has to swim extra fast to try and make up for Chance's weak performance. Everyone stops to watch Megan run Baywatch-style into the water. Heather moves things a long for her team, only pausing long enough to cover her boob. The Entertainer encourages her not to bother since everyone has seen them already. Whiteboy goes against Toastee and Pumkin. Despite claiming to be on a swim team (in Whoresville, PA?) and captaining the Gold Team, Pumkin refuses to help Toastee unhook Midget Mac's body because of all the sharks. I have no idea what to say about that. Regardless of the rampant stupidity, Toastee and Pumkin drag Mac's body back to shore unapologetically decapitating him while doing so. Whiteboy beats them back to the beach. Real and Brandi are tag-teaming for the final leg for the Green Team. They head into the water while Toastee and Pumkin drop Mac's body on shore and Hoopz dives in for the last leg on the Gold Team's relay. And, oh wow, can that girl swim. She charges out to the floating Mac, grabs him, brings him back to shore, and the Gold Team wins again! The Green Team would be morose if they knew what that meant. Craig rubs saltwater in their wounds by pointing out that the Gold Team has won four challenges in a row and is utterly dominating the competition. And Pumkin is now Paymaster. That could be the weirdest sentence I have ever written. Like, if my grandmother read it she would have no idea what I was saying. Sigh.