I Love Money

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Happy Ending, or Karma’s a Bitch

Challenge Time! The skanktestants arrive at the Challenge location. A giant metal cube made of steel beams is dangling over the side of a cliff. We can only hope that someone plunges to their death. That would make great television. But this is VH1, not Discovery Health. That channel manages to be more graphic than this one, although to entirely different ends. Craig announces that the winner of this challenge will become Paymaster. After tonight's Power Dinner (in lieu of a Power Outing) the Paymaster will choose who is leaving. Craig introduces the Challenge: Crazy Toss. It is inspired by Bucky almost pushing Crazy off a balcony in Flavor of Love Season 2. When Craig shouts "go," the contestant has to pick up the "Crazy" doll, run across the wibbly-wobbly metal beam carrying the doll, throw it over the balcony, hit a target and run back. The contestant with the fastest time wins the title of Paymaster. Megan is up first, and she's wearing shorts. I'm proud that my brain waves can be of use to the world... like Aquaman! Megan dons her helmet and harness, and announces her obligatory fear of heights. Megan chokes. Craig tells her to give him a thumbs-up when she is ready. She isn't ready. Craig and Whiteboy yell up to her, but she doesn't move. In the confessional, Megan tells us that she is petrified but she doesn't want to go home. She finally gives Craig the thumbs-up sign. He blows his air horn and Megan goes to grab Crazy. She can't lift the doll, which is apparently really heavy or Megan is really weak. She finally manages to lift the doll, gets two steps onto the beam, and drops Crazy. She barely manages to grab the doll and clings to the beam for about two seconds before the doll's clothes rip and Megan is disqualified. She claims this was the worst, most embarrassingest day ever. Maybe she should re-watch Rock of Love .

Hoopz is next. She also claims to be scared of heights. When Craig sounds the horn, Hoopz wraps up Crazy in a neat package, grabs the doll, sprints across the beam, and chucks Crazy over the balcony. Then she stands there. And stands there. No one says anything. She stands there and finally realizes that she had to go back across the beam. She runs back yelling that the rules weren't clear. VH1's crack editing team cuts back to Craig perfectly enunciating the rules. They were pretty clear, although Craig said, "Then make your way back," which is not particularly forceful language. Even with her gaffe, Hoopz's time is only 23 seconds. Real is next. Hoopz is worried for Real because he's terrified of heights. She's concerned that if Whiteboy becomes Paymaster, he will send Real home. I'm not quite sure why she cares, because if Real goes home she is that much closer to winning. They must have a deal to split the winnings. Real picks up Crazy, wobbles across the beam, tosses Crazy, and makes his way back across the beam. Time? 28 seconds, which cracks Hoopz up to no end and pisses off Real because he can never beat Hoopz. If they got married he would definitely end up hating her for that. Whiteboy is last. He has never been Paymaster before, so he's determined to win. He finishes the Challenge really quickly and wins with a time of 16 seconds. Craig tries to make it dramatic, but it's not.

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I Love Money

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