I Love Money

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Happy Ending, or Karma’s a Bitch

Craig wants each of the contestants to plead their case to The Jury. In the confessional, Megan realizes that she's had a part in each and every juror's elimination. She is screwed. Craig asks 12 Pack if he is surprised by the final three. He says that he sees two competitors and one person who weaseled their way in. Megan has the self-awareness to realize he is talking about her. She smirks ruefully. Craig next asks The Entertainer what he thinks of the final three. He was expecting Real to be standing there instead of Megan. Heather peppers his speech with "me too, me too." So I guess she agrees. Craig then turns to Megan and asks her how she feels about the curve ball. The editors put together a special Megan's Karmic Payback montage of every evil thing that Megan has done to each member of the jury. She really has been a connivingly bitchy backstabby addition to the show. As all her evil deeds come back to her, Megan thinks about it for a second and then does the only honorable thing possible. She commits reality show seppuku and quits. Yes. It's official. Megan does not win. She quits. Whoa. The Entertainer can't believe he came all the way back from his parents' basement just to watch her quit. Shut up, The Entertainer. In the confessional, Megan tells us that she wanted to take control of her own destiny. She didn't want Toastee, Pumkin, Heather, et al deciding her fate for her. Megan gets her check voided and she strumpets her way off the show. There's been a lot of speculation in the forums that Megan was dating one if the producers during the taping of this show. If that's true, I wonder if she couldn't have won the money, and so they devised this exit strategy as a way to create more drama. Regardless... Ta-ta, Megan! Toastee reminds us that karma's a bitch.

Whiteboy and Hoopz are the last competitors standing. Hoopz hugs Real and Pumkin. Whiteboy hugs 12 Pack and shakes Heather's and The Entertainer's hands. The Jury is dismissed without being able to make a decision. They all claim it was a great experience and they wouldn't have missed it for the world. The former enemies join forces to hit the town and give American tourists a bad (okay, worse) name. Whatever.

Once again, day comes to La Casa. Whiteboy and Hoopz eat breakfast together standing up in the kitchen. Craig calls. He reminds them that they are the final two and that this competition is for all the money. Hoopz and Whiteboy are nervous. That does not stop them from eating a healthy breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day. As they step out of the house, they are sporting matching black tank tops, black shorts, and black tennis shoes. They are ready. Game on! Craig greets them at the town square. He announces the final challenge: The Dash for the Cash. I just realized that this show is an hour and a half long. Ugh. Sorry brain cells! Craig sends Whiteboy and Hoopz out into the square to beg, borrow, barter or hook for one hundred pesos. The first to get a hundred pesos wins. Just kidding! They have to pay a taxi to drive them to the next secret destination. Hoopz doesn't speak a word of Spanish and she is nervous. Whiteboy speaks Spanish, but isn't looking forward to begging for cash from the "native Mexicans." What a tool. A tool in a camisole. Craig sounds the buzzer and Whiteboy and Hoopz head off to borrow money from hard-working honest folks. Being American is embarrassing. Whiteboy and his "bilingual" skills get him the money pretty quickly and all for the cost of a kiss. Whiteboy grabs the money, grabs a taxi, and heads off to the next destination. Hoopz has no luck. No one speaks any English, no one will give her anything more than a coin or two, and no one understands why a girl in short shorts and athletic shoes is throwing herself at them and groping their pockets. Finally Hoopz sells her diamond bellybutton ring to a real Negotiator. He makes her work for it but finally gives up the hundred pesos. Ew. Used bellybutton rings.

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I Love Money




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