I Love Money

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And Her Little Dog, Too

Megan is a conundrum, wrapped in a question mark, inside a lot of silicone. I can never decide whether she is as dumb as rocks or if there is secretly a genius with a wicked sense of humor hiding behind her stupid face. Whichever it may be, her stupidity was genius today when she decided to forgo making the elimination decision herself and instead passed it off to her pink-clad Chihuahua, Lily. Each of the girls must take Lily and convince her why they should stay. Even Hoopz had to do it. Hee! In turn, Hoopz, Rodeo, and Toastee pick up Lily, cradle her in their arms, and beg her to let them stay on the show. Megan is either wildly brain damaged or really freaking hilarious. I kind of want to shove my throw-up tongue down her throat right now, if you know what I mean. Rodeo holds Lily close and cries about how she cashed out her 401(k) for her clothing line and her barbecue sauce production. Lily actually knows a lot about retirement investment portfolios and small business capital needs, so don't laugh. With a little help from the crack VH1 graphics team, Lily points out, "That bitch is crazy!" Megan sends Hoopz and Toastee off so she can spend a little one-on-one time with Crazycakes Rodeo. While Rodeo cries and looks penitent and apologizes more, Megan scoffs and tells us that Rodeo never talked to her before today and actually talked a lot of smack about her. She isn't buying her contrition at all. Sure, but will she buy some barbecue sauce?

Back at the Casa, Whiteboy and Real decide that they have to protect Hoopz. Whiteboy goes to Megan and tells her that she has to get rid of Toastee. Megan and her boobs try to convince him that Toastee is on their side, but Whiteboy isn't buying it. As Whiteboy leaves, Brandi tells Megan that they have to get rid of Hoopz now or she will never leave. Megan doesn't want to because she knows that getting rid of Hoopz will infuriate the remaining Stallionaires. Brandi and the rest of the Double Secret Double D Alliance want her to man up and get rid of Hoopz. Megan doesn't know what to do. Or does she?

It's elimination time! Toastee is wearing leopard-print lingerie, Rodeo is dolled up in a black cowboy hat and matching black whorehouse fringe mini dress, and Hoopz is resplendent in yellow lycra. Megan is wearing a bikini. Obviously. Oh, and Lily? She's wearing black and white with a pink flower and purple headdress. Craig asks Megan to name the first person she is keeping. Megan calls up Toastee while simultaneously calling her out. She says that she is worthless and not a threat and that there is no point in her being there. The two teams giggle. Megan claims she had to do it so that no one would know about their secret alliance. Toastee thinks it was a bit much. Oh man, Brandi C. looks like Jon Benet in a turquoise dress and a tiara. Hitting the tequila and Vicodin again, dear? As we cut to commercial, Pumkin reminds the viewing audience that she risked her life to send Chance home last week and Megan had better contribute to the cause and get rid of Hoopz.

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I Love Money




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