I Love Money

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Buttered Toastee

Pumkin does it! Hope you didn't fall off your chair in shock. Man this show is dramatic! I hope the Emmy judges are paying attention. Look out The Wire, I Love Money is totally going to give you a run for your money. 12 Pack tells us that he's going to do everything in his power to make sure Whiteboy gets sent home. Whiteboy puts on a sulk as Craig sends him to wait on the sidelines 'til the other kids finish playing. Toastee tries to hit Hoopz but misses, shrugs and heads to the back of the line. Megan's turn again, for some reason. Much to the horror of her fellow Double Ds, she heads for and hits Heather in the back. The fact that she didn't send Hoopz home and now she's doing this has Brandi C. stumped about Megan's allegiance. Which is pretty sad for Brandi C. and her career prospects. More tossing, more stabbing and Real finally gets The Entertainer out. In Round Seven or Nineteen or something, Real knocks Pumkin out. His brother is revenged! By a fake knife in a fake back. Inigo Montoya, Real is not. Heather is out, too. Toastee keeps tossing knives at Hoopz and then finally gets her chucked out. In Round 42, 12 Pack and Brandi chuck knives at each other until 12 Pack finally gets Brandi knocked out.

As we enter the final round, the only skanktestants (like that? I do.) left are Real, 12 Pack and Toastee. Real throws a dagger into 12 Pack's back and instead of getting instantly kicked to the curb, 12 Pack gets a chance to hit Real in the back. If he succeeds then they are both out and Toastee becomes Paymaster. In a super slo-mo action shot, 12 Pack knifes Real in the back and Toastee wins! Everyone cheers because everyone thinks they are in an alliance with her. No one else seems to notice the mysterious cross-alliance cheering. 12 Pack is excited because he and Toastee are definitely in an alliance, and he thinks she's going to seize the chance to send Whiteboy home. At that, 12 Pack's tattoo and shirt exchange a glance, which just might mean that this is the end of 12 Pack. But could just mean even they were bored by that never-ending challenge.

The Challenge ends about ten minutes into the hour-long episode. Which means the next fifty minutes will be spent watching various skanktestants attempt to be wily. If they're going to make us watch fifty minutes of sneaking, wheeling and dealing, the least they can do is hire the writers from C-Span. They have awesome writers! As the ex-teams pack up and head out in the exact same formation as if they were still on teams, Whiteboy tells Megan that she really proved her worth. She never turned on him or anything. Megan then confesses to the camera that she likes Whiteboy and thinks he is cute. Which just goes to show that this show is scripted, because according to a discussion on our very own forum, Megan was dating the executive producer of this show during taping. Why would she risk her relationship with a meal ticket like that for a trashy, wannabe, camisole-wearing buckethead like Whiteboy? Whiteboy, Real, Hoopz and Megan's disembodied voice agree to make a new alliance. Back at the Casa Retarda, the Double Secret Double Ds (minus Paymaster Toastee) meet to discuss Megan's treachery and their new strategy. Brandi and Pumkin agree that Whiteboy must go. Which means Megan has to figure out a scheme to get someone other than Whiteboy kicked off while pretending to still be in an alliance with the girls. It's a real head-scratcher, which must be a nice change of pace for Megan from the body parts that usually itch.

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I Love Money

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