We begin with a duel of sorts- Michelle and Fanny's respective morning routines exercising and stuff like that. Then, they go to some sort of accountant or financial advisor. They are worthless, falling asleep and distracted the whole time. The poor advisor tries to get them to pay attention and not be... you know. But, they're still crazy and whatnot.
Melanie continues her assault on academia by deigning a health movie irrelevant because the people in it had body hair. She and Ginny see Cozette (I spelled her name with an “s” last week but apparently that's wrong?) and Frankie holding court on the stairwell and are still perplexed by their immediate popularity. Also, Frankie makes eyes at Ginny, which is cute. Then, Melanie's brother gets openly dumped by his girlfriend, which makes both Melanie and Ginny happy.
Michelle and Fanny stop to buy candles at some roadside candle place and realize that guy is on their land. He's being charged rent by the alpaca farmer nearby. Instead of demanding that the alpaca guys give them all of the money that they had charged the candle guy, they decide that they will open an outdoor theatre.
Charlie is totally heart sick and Melanie is no help at all. Truly is still without boundaries and her store has overtaken the dance studio. Cozette's dancing is BRILLIANT. She is thrilling to watch. The girls tell Michelle that Godot, the sexy bartender, is back in town. Melanie finds out that Charlie didn't do anything bad to get dumped and she starts to feel bad for him.
Michelle and Fanny need to get a loan for their amphitheater. There's a snag- Michelle finds out that she didn't actually finish high school. She apparently spent a really long time at Dollywood instead. I've got stuff to say about that.
The most amazing moment that has happened on this show, save for maybe the They Might Be Giants dance, is Ginny and Melanie walking down the hall at school. Ginny is talking about how her dad is getting remarried and her future step-mom is even crazier than her current mom. Then, they pass the girl that broke up with Charlie and, without even thinking, Melanie grabs her by the hair and throws her to the ground! And keeps walking! Ginny is completely stunned! LOVED IT.
Michelle goes to the Oyster Bar and the girls are there. They know she's there to see Godot. Millie is there! God, I hope she's always going to be here. Michelle and Sam are trivia partners for trivia night and Michelle is really no good, which makes her feel even worse about her high school drop outing. Michelle tries to flirt with Godot but it doesn't go well because she tries to relate to him as an idiot. Then, Michelle dumps him out of his chair.
Michelle talks with Millie and it looks like she and Fanny have a business partner in the amphitheater project. Also, Cozette and Frankie win trivia and Cozette recommends to Melanie that she join roller derby. When the girls go to Sasha's house after trivia, Melanie and Ginny notice that there are packed boxes everywhere. They find out that her parents are moving. Sasha tells her mother that she's not leaving, then she heads to Michelle's. She tells her about the whole thing. Sasha doesn't know what she's going to do, but Michelle tells her that she's got her back.
The end is a really beautiful contemporary dance that is just a thing to behold. The girls are so beautiful and expressive. Stuff like this is what really makes this show special. I mean, where else? As the dance ends, we see Sasha's face lined with worry.
It's 8 AM and alarms are going off. Backed by Rocky-style exercise montage music, Michelle and Fanny both rise to greet the day. Michelle dunks her face in ice water while Fanny does yoga and jumps on one of those tiny trampolines. Michelle makes a smoothie that she takes one taste of and then dumps out the window. Not a fan of kale, I see. Man, whose idea was it for us to start drinking kale? Also, I guess they don't have bugs in Paradise, because no one seems to have screens on their windows. Michelle shows up at Fanny's door with two very large travel mugs. I'm assuming there is coffee in them. Or Hurricanes. Michelle swats ass on the Fanny as they walk out the door. I know, I know, it means something different in England.
Next, we see them struggling to stay awake as they listen to a financial advisor sort. They keep hitting each other to keep the other one awake. Finally, Michelle uses her fingers to prop her eyelids open, at which point the poor advisor dude is offended. He says that they are children and wasting his time. He points out that they don't charge half of their students for their lessons, which Michelle says is Fanny's fault. Then, he says that they managed to lose money on their annual fundraiser, which Fanny says is Michelle's fault. They both accept responsibility for closing down the studio when either one of them has as much as a bad day. The guy tells them that they need to make money, either through their business or their land. They don't know what to do with their land. Michelle educates everyone on what a sluicer is. That's how people pan for gold. How on earth she knows what a sluicer is but she doesn't know how to make an edible smoothie (as a DANCER for God's sake, don't they drink like two-thirds of their meals anyway? The other third they smoke) is beyond me.
At the high school, Melanie is bitching about health class. She's surprised that people even reproduced in the '70s (that's when their course material was made) because they had so much body hair. I mean, different strokes for different folks. They see Cozette holding court in the stairwell and its official, these girls are consumed with, if not jealousy, fascination at how quickly this girl has become the most popular person in the world. Aside from the narrative tool of making her more interesting by keeping her on the fringes for a little bit longer, it's strange that we always see her talking to people but never to our girls. Frankie is there too, drawing. Ginny gets nervous and wants to leave but Melanie wants to take a picture to see if they show up on her phone. That is really funny. She is sending the pic to Sasha and Boo. Ginny tells her to tell them about the laughter and the clapping and the rehearsed casual leaning. These girls mean business.