I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

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DeAnn Welker: C- | Grade It Now!
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Fake Affairs and Fake Drama

Damien and Myleene welcome the four to the food trial, which is the same as always: winner-takes-all. The winner gets Chinese takeout. The men are so excited that Stephen goes into heavy-duty prayer mode because he's "flippin' out." The game is called "Spider's Web." Each team will be harnessed together to create an eight-legged spider. They have to race around a rope web to collect all of their star flags. The team to collect them all first wins, but any that are dropped will result in a ten-second penalty. They can forfeit in the usual way: by calling out the show's name. Patti and Janice go first. Patti's in front and Janice is behind her. They are sort of pushed up against each other as if they're in a tandem sky dive. And, because the suspense is palpable, we go to commercial.

Myleene and Damien welcome us back, remind us what's happening tomorrow, and what happened before the break. They send us back to the trial, repeat what just happened, and then finally star the stupid game. Janice and Patti start racing around the web. They get one flag, and someone says something about "moving," so Janice says, "I wish my bowels would move." I guess she's still clogged up, then. Patti says she and Janice were working well together. Janice burps and says there goes her breakfast. Patti talks about how they worked together. Janice would stretch, because she's tall, and Patti would have to keep them from flying out. They were both grabbing flags. Patti was stuffing them in her shirt and Janice shoved them in her mouth. They got all ten flags. Damien asks what their strategy was, and Janice snottily says they didn't have one. Damien noticed she was stuffing flags in her mouth, so she says, "That's how I roll." They're confident they'll win. But they might not be considering that John Salley is as tall as both of them put together. He was the perfect person to choose for this one. The only thing that could have made it better is if Sanjaya were his partner. I guess we'll see, though.

John and Stephen start collecting flags. Stephen and John have a strategy. Stephen tells John when and how to step, and John listens. It's like the weirdest and ugliest ballet dance I've ever seen in my life. Stephen says it was perfect teamwork. They get their last flag with John in a standing, outstretched position and Stephen sort of in the fetal position near his crotch. Damien tells John it looks like he's giving birth to Stephen right now, which is actually pretty funny. If Damien wants us to stop hating him, being funny might help. If this is any indication, my advice to him would be to go off-script more. John had all flags stuffed inside his top. Myleene says one team finished in 4 minutes, 11 seconds, and the other team finished in 2 minutes, 42 seconds. The men are the obvious winners. Janice is disappointed. She feels it was unfair and unmatched, and she won't shake John's hand. Stephen and John sort of make fun back in the confessional about Janice not shaking his hand. Stephen's so excited for egg rolls.

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I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

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