I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

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DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
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America's Not As Dumb As I Thought

Back in the mud pit, Stephen's acting like a maniac, picking up a rock and acting like a superhero about it. Pretending to be a crocodile and biting at Torrie. He's growling and acting crazy. Sanjaya finds a star. Patti finds a star. Lou finds the last star, and Myleene calls him "Lou Diamond." They tell everyone to get out except Stephen, because he's enjoying it way too much. Lou hugs Myleene and gets her all covered in mud. John tells Stephen he looks good brown and adds, "Let's see if you can get a cab in New York." The muddy celebrities head back to camp.

The three eaters talk about how some people wanted the pizza more than them, but now it's all about breaking down your opponents. Lou says this in his best Ah-nuld voice, and then Sanjaya adds in a vaguely Ah-nuld sound. Then muddy Stephen sort of belly flops into the river. Later, in confessional (and still in his superhero mask and costume), he says in French that there is no honor in defeat; only honor in victory. Awesomely (and thankfully since I couldn't understand him) the title under his name no longer says "Stephen Baldwin: Actor." It now says "El Capitan Lingou Mystere: Superhero." Ha. He removes the mask in shame to become Stephen again. Sad. I wanted El Capitan to stick around for awhile.

Back with Myleene and Damien, who are standing outside of camp. They're going in to reveal the first celebrity who will be leaving tonight. Everyone looks good in their new green. Myleene and Damien remind them that two of them are leaving, and Lou and John weren't eligible. Damien has the results: "Sanjaya! You... are safe." Myleene: "Torrie. You... are safe." Damien: "Holly. You... are going home." Janice freaks out. She thought it would be her, and she's not happy it's Holly. So, later on, we'll lose one of Stephen, Patti or Janice. Holly sweetly hugs everyone and gets teary-eyed. Outside of camp again, Damien and Myleene look serious and tells us what just happened. Inspirational music plays. Damien and Myleene remind us this is about charity. The celebrities who are still in it remind us what charity they're playing for. You can donate. Holly crosses the bridge out of camp, and tells everyone goodbye. We don't get a Montag montage, though. Bummer. Commercials.

Myleene and Damien are still just outside of camp. Back in camp when Holly was still there, Janice namedrops as a little counter in the corner starts dinging every time she drops a name. She says she used to be friends with the original Saturday Night Live guys, like Murray and Aykroyd, and Mike Myers. Um, Mike Myers was not original Saturday Night Live, Janice, and was on way, way after those others. She adds Dana Carvey, then a comedian I haven't heard of, then Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and John Belushi. Then a competing counter starts up for Lou as he name-drops guys who have played poker with him: Brad Pitt. Clooney. Dave Schwimmer before Friends. Priestley and Luke from 90210. That's 9 for Janice and 5 for Lou. Then John starts in: Jackie Chan. Chris Tucker. Stephen starts up: Chris Penn. Sean Penn. Back with Janice: Bruce Willis. Mick Jagger. Lou says Viggo Mortensen and Annette Bening. John says Don Johnson. Janice adds Karl Lagerfeld and Linda Evangelista. Lou says Forest Whitaker and Kiefer (um, of course Kiefer's in there; they were in Young Guns!). Stephen adds Laurence Fishburne. Lou says Eric Stoltz, Sam Neill, Catherine Bell. Stephen says Benicio and Bryan Singer. Janice says Greta Garbo, Sean Connery. Lou adds Brandon Lee and Robert De Niro. John says William Shatner. Janice says Michael Caine. Lou: James Coburn. Janice: Matthew Modine. John says Pam Anderson, Dwayne Wade, Laila Ali. Stephen: Liam Neeson. Lou: Charles Bronson. John: Samuel Jackson and Mike Tyson. Janice says the Queen of England, and the counter rises to 18 and she's our winner. Lou had 16, John 9 and Stephen 6. Don't we get to count Alec? Anyway, that was dumb.

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I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

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