Myleene tells them that America has been voting for them and watching their every move for the past 24 days. She says there can only be one winner, and it's time to reveal America's decision. Damien says the public has voted, and it was incredibly close. The winner is... Lou Diamond Phillips. I think everyone's happy about that. Janice is jumping up and down. John picks him up and hugs him. Sanjaya gives him big hugs. But Myleene pulls him over to give him his crown and throne. His crown is made of leaves. Damien thanks us for watching and hopes we've enjoyed it as much as they have. Well, that depends, Damien: Did you hate it? If so, we're in sort of the same boat.
We close with more inspirational music and clips: John's going to miss the nature around him; he loves this jungle. Torrie says words can't even describe how wonderful this experience was. Lou's had a great time, and hopes he's brought a lot of people along on the trip with him. I'm so happy for him, really, but why no mention of his charity here at the end, since they are now the winners of this competition? Anyway, Art Has Heart Foundation should be pretty happy about this. And I am also happy. Mostly because it's over. Hope everyone finds something to do with all the time they'll have without this brain cell-killing show. I guess I'll end appropriately, with that game-forfeiting title: I'm the weecaper, get me out of here!
DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.