Remember how this show sucked, but everyone watched it anyway? Well, thanks to all those viewers, we get a two-hour episode tonight and again on Wednesday. Thank you, America. You totally suck. Announcer guy: "Eleven celebrities. Plunged into the jungle. Fighting against the elements. And each other. They're locked in competition." And America decides. Tonight, we'll find out whom we chose to do the "Flash Flood" food competition. And Patti talks about the "nightmare" of being married to a(n alleged) douchebag (and being one herself). All that and more after the tacky credits. Then we get a recap of last week. Speidi were babies and assholes. The camp was split up into teams: girls vs. guys. The men won everything. Janice was bat-shit crazy. Daniel Baldwin showed up. Patti was given immunity by the guys, and Angela was sent packing. Speidi left, then wanted to come back. They had to sleep in the lost chamber, and be voted back in by everyone else. Will they get to come back? The suspense is killing me. Damien and Myleene are "live" in the "jungle" next to their giant plasma TV. They recap again.
Speidi are given the rules as they're about to spend a night in the lost chamber. They can say "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" at any time they want out of the chamber. The other cast members debate whether to let Speidi back in. Lou thinks America doesn't want Speidi to win, but does want to see Speidi suffer. That's sort of true, actually. Speidi's in the lost chamber, where I don't see nearly as many rats, cockroaches and tarantulas as before. Now there are just spiders, which are freaking Speidi out anyway. Stephen's "cool with" but not "happy" for Speidi to come back. Lou doesn't believe people really change. Shot of Spencer as Heidi says, "You think I'm sleeping with something like that?!" I'm sure she's talking about a spider, but it's still funny, because ... yes, you are, and that makes you even more disgusting than you are naturally. Daniel doesn't want anyone else in the competition. Janice loves them because everyone else hates them. Spencer sleeps on top of Heidi in the chamber, apparently to protect her from something. [I've used that line before. - Zach] John and Stephen both vote "yes" for them coming back. So does Patti. So does Lou, who explains the whole group decided to let them come back. Frances is enjoying the silence and non-drama. Heidi's praying in the lost chamber. Commercials.