I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now!
Janice: Even Crazier Than Speidi

Myleene and Damien again. More recapping and boring me to sleep. And someone will go home for good tomorrow. Numbers again. They send us back to the jungle, where Lou has another scroll. It's time for a luxury trial. Torrie and Patti, John and Stephen are asked to collect their canteens and prepare to leave camp. Janice mockingly cheers them on. It's very obnoxious. Daniel tells Stephen to let John make all decisions and that Stephen should just be a soldier. Torrie and Patti feel really good after eating their hot dogs. John says he's beaten this same team before with the other Baldwin before, and this one is younger, faster, and more nimble. So they will totally win this.

They arrive to a jungle clearing where there are instructions, but no host. The instructions tell them that this trial is called "Lumberjack Saw." There are two logs, two saws, and a locked box containing a star. They must saw through the entire log to release a tube containing a scroll. On the scroll, there is a math problem that they must solve. With the answer, they can unlock the box. The first team to unlock the box and grab the star will win the trial and the prize. Torrie says she's never sawed a log, especially with two people. Her log logic is not tracking for me. Because, either she's never sawed a log, period, or she's sawed one, but not one with two people. She says they were starting off at a disadvantage, because clearly all guys have sawed logs. They do that so often in Hollywood and the NBA. Everyone starts sawing. John tells us later: "A little trick about sawing: (whisper voice) Let the saw do the work." Patti thinks she and Torrie being the same height will work to their advantage, and John's so much taller than Stephen. Commercials. SO suspenseful! (Can someone tell me what this Merlin thing is, and why is Giles in it?)

We're back at the sawing. Patti recaps the competition for us in her confessional. The women get through their log and get their math problem. It's a really long addition and subtraction problem that will give them a four-digit number that will unlock the box. Torrie says math isn't her best subject and men are usually really good. Torrie has confidence in Patti, because she knows she'll be good with numbers. John and Stephen have different tactics. John wants to go across the problem in order, but Stephen wants to do all the negative numbers and all the positives and then subtract one from the other. Stephen keeps bossing John around, and John reminds us that Stephen had agreed he'd be captain, but here, it became John versus Stephen. John says he let Stephen do it his way six times. They are literally taking more than 20 minutes to do this math problem. That is ridiculous. John pushes Stephen out of his way and does the problem. But the girls get the box open. John kicks their log. Torrie thinks it's so funny how pissed John was. He says he felt like he lost Game 7 of the NBA finals and he had the better team. With a completely straight face he says: "I'm not going to be able to sleep well." Dramatic pause. "For the next month." Oh, John, you'll get over it next time you have to touch a tarantula.

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

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