Something's wrong with my television -- there's a horrible squeal coming out of the speakers. Oh, wait, that's just Warren reciting his Torah portion, and doing a fine impersonation of Peter Brady when his voice broke. He and Bobby are in a room somewhere in the synagogue. I know because there's a menorah in the background. Very subtle. Warren just can't remember the Hebrew words, and Bobby quickly steps in and corrects his pronunciation. Warren correctly points out that Bobby is better at this than Warren is. And I have to say, if that's true after just one day, Bobby is either a genius or Warren is a moron. (I vote for the latter.) Warren and Bobby talk about the whole bar mitzvah thing, and how it means that Warren is a man, and that his father will no longer be responsible for his sins. (If any of the Jewish theology is wrong here, blame Warren.) Bobby leaves the room to find a vending machine.
As Bobby walks down the hall in the synagogue, he sees a boy, his father, and the rabbi walking ahead of him. The father stops and places a tallis (a traditional shawl) over the shoulders of his son. The rabbi talks to the boy about his upcoming bar mitzvah, and then about the value and importance of the Torah, which he then shows to the father and son. (I understand from folks on the forums that none of this particular ceremonial activity would actually be happening like this, but it's not like this show has impressed me with its realism in any other respect, so I can let it go.) Warren walks up behind Bobby and scares the crap out of him, as they continue to spy on this intimate father-son-rabbi moment.
Crowded high-school hallway. Dee Vine walks up to Jack, who is at his locker, and tells him that he is coming over for dinner tomorrow night: "Mom's making a loaf. Don't ask." Jack tries to beg off, but Dee sees though his transparent lies, and accuses him of disliking her father because he's a minister. She finally gets Jack to agree to come over by pointing out that both of her parents will be going out after dinner, leaving her and Jack alone in the house. Suddenly, we hear a deep voice say "McCallister." The voice came from a very tall, very muscular, very beautiful man. I'm feeling a bit faint. Jack walks over to him and says, "Coach, what's up?" Close-up on Coach's face. [Thud!] Oh, I'm sorry...I seem to have fallen off the coach. Er, I mean, couch. Is it hot in here? What show am I watching? Oh, it's that Jack fellow. Coach asks Jack if he'd like his spot back on the team. Jack is confused. Coach tells him that Marcus is failing Chemistry and has been placed on academic probation. Hey, nice breach of privacy. Apparently, it's not just the academic probation that's keeping Marcus off the team -- his father won't let him run either. And apparently the team has no other backup runners, because without Marcus or Jack, they will have to forfeit the meet that weekend. So they're going to let the kid whose brother brought marijuana to school for him just forget that pesky athletic suspension and rejoin the team? I think I'm going to need a crane to suspend my disbelief for this.