Jack then turns to Bobby and tells him that their dad wasn't a Chilean professor: "He was a busboy from Mexico she met when she was a waitress." Bobby is a bit horrified by this news. "Nooooooo! He was an archeologissssssst!" he cries. "He's not dead, he's just gone," Jack soldiers on. "No, he diiiiiiiied," Bobby wails. Jack tells him that Grace has been lying to him this entire time. "It's not fake, it's true!" Bobby sobs. Grace starts to tell Bobby that everything is going to be okay, but he can't catch his breath and starts having a real bad asthma attack. Of course, his inhaler is unavailable. "Jack! Jack! Do something!" Grace sobs. Um, excuse me? Professor McCallister? You're the parent here. You do something. He's thirteen. I'm sure this isn't his first asthma attack. Why don't you, oh, I don't know....try being the adult in this family? But Jack just scoops his brother up in his arms. "Meet me at the hospital!" he yells, and runs off. I know he's on the track team and all, but can he run faster than a car? Grace just cries. Pull it together, you selfish woman.

Beaming in from THE FUTURE, Paymer explains that he asked the President why he never told the real story about his dad, but the President never answered him. It wasn't until later, when he heard Grace talking about her dead Chilean husband at a cocktail party, that he understood: "He never told because of her. Because it would have crushed her. That lie almost cost him the election. And it wasn't his lie." But...then the truth must have come out, if it almost cost him the election, right? So why was Grace yapping about it a cocktail party? Grace must lose her marbles eventually. Man, that scene already smells like Emmy bait, and it's not even October yet.