Jack: "What are you writing?" Courtney: "Nothing." Jack doesn't think it looks like nothing. Courtney explains that she's just writing her thoughts. Please don't let it be poetry. Please don't let it be poetry. Jack introduces himself and invites Courtney to sit with him and his friends. She turns him down, flat. What new girl in her right mind rejects a friendly overture from anyone halfway normal-seeming, especially a super-cute boy? Jack wonders what's so scary about, you know, making friends. "Look, you don't even know me, so why do you care what I think?" Courtney brats. Ah, yes. This is where, in real life, The Cute Boy (or Nice Friendly Girl, for that matter) would be like, "Bitch, please. I'm reaching out to you because you are new here and it's hard not to have friends. If you want to act all asshole-y about it, be my guest. Enjoy your misery." Because this is TV, however, Jack finds Courtney's bratty exterior intriguing. Look, girls? I feel compelled to tell you that in real life, boys don't find the Ice Queen act nearly as alluring as they do on TV. What is presented on television as "intriguing" is dismissed in real life as "pain in the ass," and I really, really wish that cliché would die out, because it would really save a lot of impressionable young ladies a lot of time and energy. But of course, Jack is all, "I don't know you, but I'd like to," and invites her to a bonfire the next night. "A school event? Sorry, no," Courtney says. Wow, a nice, cute boy wants to include you in some harmless social activities that happen to be school-sponsored? The horror! What's next? Ritual sacrifices? THE PROM? Noooo! But Jack continues the hard sell and promises that the bonfire will be "life-altering." Do they even have bonfires anymore? He's mid-pitch when Bobby comes up and starts blathering that he didn't know Jack was inside, and that he's sitting outside on the benches and the benches are okay, but blah blah blah cockblocking. Bobby then introduces himself to Courtney and motormouths that she's the girl they saw on the street and that he wondered who she was and Jack was all, "I don't know," and he was all -- "BOBBY," Jack hisses, and Bobby finally, finally shuts it. For about one second, after which he announces that he needs some signatures for his Space Club petition. Courtney kindly signs the petition with a smile, and then hands the paper to Jack, expectantly. Jack, Jack, Jack. I can already tell this girl is going to be a complete pain in your ass. He signs the petition half-heartedly. Bobby scampers off. "My brother has no off switch," Jack groans. The bell rings, and Courtney stands up and says she has to get to class. "I guess I'll see you at the bonfire," she smiles. She walks away as Jack wonders how the hell he pulled that off.
Jack & Bobby
Episode Report CardJessica: A- | 591 USERS: C+
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Jack & Bobby