Jack & Bobby

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!

Bobby is working on some delightful equation in math class when he gets the word from on high ["as it were" -- Wing Chun] that the principal wants to see him. As we used to say in elementary school: "Oooooooh, buuuuuusted."

In THE FUTURE, Paymer talks about how the major problem he ran into during McCallister's campaign was "the lie." See, six months out, the president told this story about his Chilean professor dad who went back to his country and was executed there for his political beliefs. The press didn't believe it. "I should have been more of a hard-ass," Paymer says regretfully, "but the thing is, I believed him."

Cut to the principal's office, 2004. Jack and Bobby sit there and look downtrodden. Grace comes whirling in, all aflutter because she had to put on a video for her class and they're not even at the point in the semester where a video is appropriate and yada yada yada, it's all about her, of course, so shut up, Grace. The principal finally manages to tell her that they found marijuana in Bobby's locker, and Grace -- who I really think needs the pot to self-medicate her maniac swings -- starts riffing on how this is clearly an invasion of Bobby's civil rights and my GOD, woman, cut down on the caffeine and take a nap. The principal finally gets a word in edgewise and tells her that Bobby admitted that he brought the pot to school. Grace is all, "I'm sure he did, given your Gestapo-like tactics." The principal appears to be used to these sorts of personal attacks, and explains that Bobby "confessed to bringing drugs to school for his brother Jack." Oh. Now, that is just not cool. You little brat, making your brother take the fall for you. Grace is stunned. Jack rolls his eyes hugely as the principal explains they've suspended Jack from the track team for this semester and sentenced him to a month of detention. Bobby gets off scot-free. The principal adds that he would like Grace to take a long hard look at what happened to her family today. She tightens her mouth into a tiny, pissed little line.

The whole family goes stomping out, Grace snarling all the way. She snarls at Jack that he has "wonderful timing." "You're captain of this and king of that, some kind of all-American automaton and your brother's first week of high school, you decide to become a teenager." Shut UP, Grace. Could you be any ruder to your own kid? Jack stiffly reminds Grace that he just got kicked off the track team so she could stop yelling. "I told you to watch out for him," Grace yaps. Jack can't believe this. "WHAT? He steals your pot, I get kicked off the team and it's MY fault?" he yelps. Bobby whines that it's his own fault. "It's HER fault," Jack says. "I realize it came from my drawer, but it's rather deductive --" Grace begins, but Jack interrupts her. "Say something real," he spits, which is, I think, the Jack Version of "Shut UP, Grace." Grace asks Jack if he can include Bobby with his friends, and Jack says he can't, because Bobby is "weird." Grace wonders what's so swell about being normal. "Normal is what you have to be if you don't want to spend every day of high school getting beat up," Jack tells her. "I raised him to be special, Jack," Grace says. Hello? He's standing right there. "You raised him to be your best friend," Jack spits. "You just wanted to someone to control and agree with you and keep you from being lonely," he says, and in the middle of this sentence, she actually turns her back on him and walks away, saying, "blah blah blah" and actually making the corresponding hand motions. That is so very rude. "That's why you never cared about me, because I wouldn't do any of that," Jack says to her back. Grace turns around and very dramatically opines that EVERY SINGLE DAY she cares about Jack. "You have NO IDEA what I've given up for you. For both of you," she sniffles. "That's a lie! You didn't do it for us, or for him. You're just a lonely, pathetic, middle-aged woman, hiding behind your books and your words and your teenaged son," Jack retorts. Bobby looks horrified by this entire exchange. Grace claps her hand to her mouth. "One day I'll be gone and he'll see things for the way they are. And hate you for the lies you told him," Jack tells her. He is way more mature than she is, if unusually detached for his age. "Go on, tell him the truth. Tell him who our father really is," he prods. Dum dum dum DUUUUUM.

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Jack & Bobby




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