Jack & Bobby
Pilot

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Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Pilot

Speaking of Marcus, Future Marcus explains that with names like "Jack" and "Bobby," the McCallisters were destined to be politicians. "But that's not what Grace had planned." My name is Jessica and my sister is named Elizabeth. I guess I am destined to drive a Fiat Spider and plow my way through all the cutest boys at school, while exploiting my position as head cheerleader for Sweet Valley High and manipulating my sister into taking tests for me, while my poor sister is destined to come really close to sleeping with Bruce Patman before conking her head on a coffee table and snapping out of it. I imagine that's not what our parents had planned, either. ["OR IS IT?!" -- Wing Chun]

High School of Those Destined For Greatness, And Also Their Friends, Who Speak Quite Pretentiously In The Future. Bobby and a friend are walking to a lunch table. Bobby is making some noise about how the school doesn't have a space club and he can't believe it. His friend -- a squirrelly kid, named Warren, with a bowl cut -- hisses that Bobbyshould lose the briefcase. Bobby? Listen to Squirrelly Warren. The boys take a seat and narrowly avoid getting beaned by a flying milk carton, which Warren correctly interprets as a harbinger of their social doom. "Five years of being outcasts!" he moans. So unpopular that the school actually decides to hold them back a year. Is this a junior/senior high school, something I thought only existed in Trixie Belden books? How very convenient for purposes of both the plot and casting, since the kid playing Bobby reads to be in 6th grade at best.

So, Bobby takes the milk carton over to the punk who threw it at them, who reminds me of Wayne Arnold from The Wonder Years and who, therefore, I sort of like. Especially since Precocious, Sheltered Bobby is getting a wee bit tiresome. Anyway, Wayne submits Bobby to a whole slew of not particularly biting bullying comments, all of which make it abundantly clear that while the writers of this show are well-seasoned when it comes to writing Intelligent and Flawed Adults, the last time they were in a high school was approximately 1957. Warren pleads with Bobby to come back to their table: "My pot pie's getting cold." Wayne gets in a few more anemic jabs -- including calling Bobby "Wheezer," which wouldn't be a burn even if it weren't also a homonym for the name of a really cool band -- and then takes his cronies off to smoke some cloves. Warren begs Bobby to bag the petition. I beg the writers to hang out at a local high school for an hour.

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Jack & Bobby

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