Jack & Bobby
Pilot

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Pilot

It is at this point that Jack wanders past the bedroom door clad in only a towel. Be still my beating loins. Grace informs him that he's babysitting, and he tells her that he can't, on account of the Super-Nifty Retro Bonfire. ["What eighth-grader needs to be babysat?" -- Wing Chun] Grace suggests that Jack take Bobby to the bonfire! Jack tells Grace that he can't. Why? Because he just can't. "You'll have to do better than circular logic, Jack," Grace sings. She is so awful. Jack mutters something about Marcus and "this girl." Bobby pipes up that he hopes it's Courtney Benedict. "Benedict? I hope she's not related to the money-grubbing whore," Grace pipes up. Bitter And Full Of Issues, your table is ready. Jack admits that Courtney is the Money-Grubbing Whore's daughter. "She's not for you," Grace announces. She is! She's not! Bicker, bicker. Bobby finally has to mediate and swears that he'd rather stay home with his little space game anyway. Grace is fine with this, and tells her sons to nosh on the leftover cold cuts in the fridge for dinner. They whine, but I'd kill for a platter of cold cuts in my fridge right now. Suck it up, boys. This settled, Grace shoos them out. "I'd like a little private time before I go," she explains.

Private time = time to smoke some pot. Grace is awfully wound up for a stoner.

In his (their? The boys seem to share a room, but the house seems awfully big for that) bedroom, Bobby wonders Why Mommy Gets High. "I don't know. Why do you care?" Jack asks. "Because she's different afterwards," Bobby says, putting on his space game helmet. "Yeah, bearable," Jack snarks, and then advises Bobby to drop the space club: "It's a reputation killer." Bobby doesn't get this line of reasoning: "Lots of people do clubs." Oh, naïve, tiresome kid. I feel for you. Jack points out that space is not cool. "You always say, go after what you want and I want to start a space club," Bobby insists. Jack sighs, and wonders if Bobby ever gets tired of not being like everyone else. Bobby just turns back to his game as Jack finishes dressing and makes guilty faces. "Get ready. I'll take you to the thing," he finally says. "Really?" Bobby squeals. "Yeah," Jack grouses. "So what do they burn at these things?" Bobby asks. "Eighth-graders," Jack tells him.

2049. New voice from THE FUTURE, Karen Carmichael, Vice-President 2041-2046, explains that it was "well known" that she had no interest in the Vice-Presidency position, since it "had all but vanished" under the last two administrations. "So when Governor McCallister, as he was then, approached [her]," she turned his ass down flat. But that Unnamed McCallister brother was persistent! And persuasive!

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Jack & Bobby

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