2004 Funky Retro Bonfire. Hot Jack, Hot Marcus, and Poor Dorky Bobby gallivant around the fire. Bobby tells Marcus he's only hanging with "you dorkuses" until his crappy friend Squirrelly Warren shows up. Marcus is all like, "'Dorkus,' strong language," or something, and then he asks Jack for permission to kill Bobby. Jack is all, "We're trying to prevent him from being killed," and then gets all moony and dreamy. "There she is," he breathes. "She," of course, is Courtney. Bobby squeals with glee at the sight of Courtney, but Marcus is a good wingman and grabs the kid and drags him away to go set stuff on fire, so Jack can get his flirt on in peace.
Jack floats over to Courtney, staring at her the entire time in that way that boys do that works wonders if you like them and makes you want to get a restraining order if you don't. "Hi," he breathes. "Is that it?" Courtney asks. "You promised me a life-altering experience, and all I get is 'hi'?" Wow. She is demanding. Newsflash, Courtney: most encounters begin with a greeting of some sort. For example, were George Clooney to come over tonight to give me a full-body massage, I would expect him to open with some form of "hello." Jack, this woman is going to be a lot of work. He just says that he's glad she decided to come. She sort of smiles at this, and they walk off. "He could relate to women better than men," saysVice-President Karen of THE FUTURE. "Something to do with his mother, no doubt. I had the pleasure of meeting her once. She was quite a character." And you are quite a diplomat, because the word I would use is "despot."
Speaking of the despot, Grace is over at the faculty party, chatting with another professor. Well, "chatting" is not quite right; she actually asks him if "the whore" has arrived yet. The whore has not. The professor starts yapping about Utrecht, or something, and Grace decides she's had enough and bails.
Grace meets John Slattery on the steps. I loved him in Homefront. Not so much when he wanted Carrie to pee on him on Sex and the City. Grace and John Slattery literally run into each other on the steps, so you know they're eventually going to have sex. Apologies are exchanged, and Grace warns him not to go inside because "that windbag Benedict never bothered to show up." John Slattery cocks a brow, so you know he is, of course, said windbag. Grace then bitches that the rest of the faculty is "embalming." "That bad?" he asks. "Worse," she complains. "But hey! Party hearty." Man, has she got a bad attitude. She heads off, but Benedict insists on walking her home. "Miss your first faculty party?" Grace asks. Benedict: "As you said, the old windbag never even showed up. What kind of party is that?" At this, Grace looks mildly intrigued. And a little dry around the crow's feet. I suggest Crème de la Mer.