Jack walks down the hall in the denim jacket and pants outfit popularized by TV's Chachi Arcola. She pauses outside her apartment to listen to the barking and braying noises emanating from within. She walks in to find Ferret talking loudly to herself. "I'm acting," Ferret explains, and Jack gives a "whatever" shrug, presumably because at no time in that sentence was her name mentioned. She excuses herself to take a shower. Ferret, woefully bereft of mini-braids, sports a lank, bi-level shag that emphasizes the Cubist deformity of her features. She asks why Jack doesn't shower at the gym, and Jack reasserts her role as the show's lovably Howard Hughesian germ freak, squealing, "Like, a jillion people shower there, I don't need some crazy foot fungus." Takes one to know one, sister. Audrey ponders Jack's banal anality, then remembers that Jill brought by a present and hands it to her. Jack's teeth come to the fore as she opens a jewelry box containing Jill's key. She shows the key to Ferret with a smile intended to be winsome, but weighing in instead at loathsome. "God, you're easy," Ferret says as Jack scurries off with the key.
Mikey wraps up some shaggy-dog story he's telling his latest conquest, opening the door of the Shaker Shack to find copious evidence of Elispa's commitment to Bad Housekeeping. His date wears a bib with no coat, though it's ostensibly New York in early March. "I thought you said you lived with a girl," says Ms. Nobody, a departure from Mikey's usual type with her non-Aryan features and mild-mammaried figure. She is, however, sporting cherry-red disco pants, stiletto mules, and a Julianna Margulies-style poodle perm. Mikey insists that his room is spotless and it's Elispa who's the slob. Hotpants asks if that's his way of trying to get her into his bedroom, and he says, "One of 'em." Wait a second, what's so special about his bedroom? I fail to understand the significance of this banter. Maybe he has board games in there. She excuses herself to primp, and Elispa walks in just as Mikey enters a brief tidying frenzy. She asks blithely if he's happened to go to the market, and when he says, "No, I don't think so," she mutters, "Of course not," and turns to leave. Mikey asks if she's planning to do the dishes and she says she'll get them tomorrow. Does anyone sense a "Roommate Forum" coming? Or perhaps a story line poached from the archives of other knee-slapping roommate comedies like Perfect Strangers? I don't. "It's like living with Johnny Depp," Mikey says. Ha? Ha.