Jack & Jill
A Key Exchange

Episode Report Card
Tumbleweed: D | Grade It Now!
I'll Take ManNOTtan

Mikey officiously posts a list of chores, then starts foraging in the cupboards for Elispa's snack items. He opens up some condiment or other and starts devouring it as Elispa walks in with a look of revulsion on her face. Mikey, wearing a shirt that says, "Geese," spits out what looks like mayonnaise and says, "Ack, what is this crap?" Elispa pours a teaspoon of orange juice into a glass and shakes the empty container, staring at Mikey with murderous rage. She puts the glass down without washing it and Mikey makes a noise of disgruntlement. "We need to have the thing, the thing: what did you call it?" she barks. "It's called 'forum,'" Mikey says. A shout-out to this forum? Stoosh thinks so. "I'm calling it: right here, right now. Forum, baby!" says spunky Elispa, whose anger is rendered all the more menacing by the fact that she is wearing candy-stripe jammies. "Good," Mikey says. Because I have some issues to discuss myself." "What could you pothibly have to dithcuth with me?" Elispa protests. Whoa, sister: say it, don't spray it. "How 'bout the fact that you don't understand the concept of a sponge?" Mikey says. Elispa shrieks, "Oh, I understand the conthept of thponge! It's what you do every day when you eat all my food!" Mikey contends that having a couple spoonfuls of Elispa's tofu ice cream "hardly compares to trashing [the] apartment on a daily basis." "What, is that why you wanted to live with a girl, so everything would be all clean and pretty?" Elispa aggresses. "I wasn't trying to live with a girl," Mikey squeals. "I don't even consider you to be a girl!" Does that mean she falls into the "buddies" sector in the "buddies over babes" rule? Moreover, is this gender inscrutability what made her attractive to Jill? "Oh!" says Elispa, gesticulating histrionically. "You know what? This forum is over!" "Fine with me!" Mikey says, slamming some can against the counter to "bang the gavel." "That was a nice effect," he reassures himself, as Elispa beats a hasty retreat.

Ferret does a line reading at the aptly named "Casting Company," to the strains of some latter-day Abba/Fleetwood Mac hybrid. Mustachioed producers pass around her stringy-haired headshot and watch, riveted, as she gnaws her way through a scene. She has on her Vishnu sand sculpture shirt and a suede jacketlet over a Lycra midi-skirt: a winning combination if ever there was one. Cut to a room full of pseudo-students -- including Barto and Annie -- completing a multiple-choice test, as I'm sure all exams are in med school. Annie sneaks surreptitious glances at Barto as he darkens circles in a charismatic fashion. Meanwhile, Ferret walks through the throngs of people waiting to audition with a smug expression on her face. She waits to turn a corner before lapsing into self-congratulation, hissing, "Yesss," and pumping her hand in the air. Back in school, the instructor collects the exams and Barto's face assumes a cryptic, self-satisfied expression.

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Jack & Jill




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