Cut to Barto fussing with an anatomical model of the human heart. Mikey walks up in a muy Guido leather car coat and watch cap. "So that's it," he says, "the Big Kahuna of organs." What with the protagonist of his early films being his johnson and all, I'd think Mikey/Simon Rex would locate the Big Kahuna of organs a little further south. Barto calls the heart "number two on my all-time hit list," and judging from the sultry way he stares at Mikey, I think we know what number one is for him. Mikey puzzles over the mechanics of the human body and Barto tells him not to think about it too hard "'cause it gets kind of weird. And whatever you do," he adds, "don't start thinking about your tongue." This cryptic advice spurs Simon Rex to assume the quizzical "Whassup?" expression that is the alpha and omega of his acting technique. The ferret scurries in jauntily, looking like an unmade bed in a variety of mismatched chenille garments. "One quick question," she says. "Valentine's Day." Barto transfers his sloe-eyed gaze to her and says, "And an answer that won't get me in trouble would be --" "Yes!" Ferret blares. Unwittingly, she has donned an orange crocheted hat that makes her resemble an inverted number 2 pencil. Barto agrees regardless, and she informs him that a friend of hers can get them tickets to Roseland, which he correctly identifies as "the swing place." He looks dyspeptic at this prospect and Ferret says, "We can do anything." Barto says, "Good, because I was planning on taking off my clothes and singing My Heart Will Go On in the middle of Times Square -- you know, something a little less embarrassing." Justin Kirk delivers this line with the timing of a man who has just consumed a square foot of hash brownies. "Okay, you can do that on the way home," says the self-actualizing rodent, who's listened to enough Tony Robbins tapes never to take non for an answer.
Jack & Jill
Episode Report CardTumbleweed: D | 740 USERS: B-
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Jack & Jill