Jack & Jill
Lovers And Other Strangers

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In The Name Of Art

Cut to a bunch of med students and Barto gathered around Bernie, the cadaver, who is Tom Bosley, who was Mr. Cunningham in a previous TV incarnation. Small digression: wouldn't it have made more sense for the ghost of the guy that died in Barto's arms to haunt him, since it's actually "Samuel's" death that preys on him? And couldn't Tom Bosley just as easily have played that role, and thus this storyline would have made a teeny bit more sense? Just asking. Anyways, the voice of Tom Bosley says, "Wouldja look at that? A bunch of kids playing tiddlywinks with my internal organs." Barto freaks out. Tom Bosley points out that it's easy to play doctor on a dead guy, and that's it's much more challenging on a living, bleeding person. Barto runs to the bathroom. His fellow students look at him askance. Tom Bosley, festooned in requisite haunt-wear of pasty white makeup and hospital gown, says, "I'm still here!" and Barto freaks out some more. Barto says he knows Tom Bosley is a product of his stressed-out brain and would he please go away. Tom Bosley calls him "Doc" and says that's not a very nice way to talk to someone who donated his body to science. Barto points out he's not a doctor yet. TB says goody, there's still time to convince Barto to find a different profession, one that he can "hack." Geddit? Poor Tom Bosley. Apparently those Father Dowling Mysteries residuals aren't enough to cut it anymore. Barto mutters that he needs to find a good shrink. Some extra exits the john and says, "I'll say." Barto heads back to the surgery room. His fellow students ask if he's okay, giving each other the Rolling Eye of Doubt during Barto's affirmative reply.

"Jill Hefner" is readying his studio. He asks if Jack has her clothes off. She comes out in a bathrobe wrapped to her chin. Jack tries to get out of posing nude by offering to pose in swimsuits, or to let Jill do his abstract photography on her knee, or back, or both. Jill accurately ascertains that Jack doesn't want to do this. Jack says she does, and that she's been practicing in the shower. She then gives that endearing, goony grin of hers, the one that makes me want to smash my TV in with a brick. Jack decides to "work with the couch." She tries to drape herself seductively across the back of it, only to display that comic bombshell-ness of hers by falling off with a shriek. She stands up, defeated, and decides to disrobe, but keeps her arms firmly crossed over her breasts. Jill is frustrated. He asks if she could be a little more natural. Jack, Jill, and myself decide a glass of wine would help the proceedings along.

Later on, Jack reclines on the back of the sofa. Oh, will that wacky Jack never learn? She tells Jill that it's okay to show the photos, but only to his teacher and the other students, and that they can either see her, or the photos, but never both. "Kind of like Batman and Bruce Wayne," Jill says. "Egg-zackly," says Jack triumphantly. She falls off the sofa again. Jill goes to rescue her.

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Jack & Jill

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