Jack & Jill
Lovers And Other Strangers

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In The Name Of Art

Elispa's and Mikey's flat. Mikey asks what Elispa's doing that night. She tells him she's going out with Jonathan. Mikey bobs his head. "You bobbed," Elispa shrieks, ascertaining something's bothering him. Mikey tells her he gets a weird vibe off of Jonathan, that Mikey thinks Jonathan's jealous. Elispa tells Mikey he's projecting, that it's obvious he sees the world through "Mikey-colored glasses" and that just because he couldn't hack it if HIS girlfriend was living with a guy is no reason to say Jonathan can't. Mikey says he doesn't want to interfere, especially after all the trouble he's given Elispa for doing the same, and then proceeds to do so anyway by telling Elispa he's her friend, and he DOES get a weird vibe off of Jonathan, so he wanted to let her know.

Pretentious photography teacher pulls Jill aside to tell him that his nude series of Jack was very good, and to ask what he titled it. "Ninety seconds of nudity," Jill blurts. The PPT flips through some standard Vogue-esque shots of Jack seated from behind and a close-up side profile, and tells Jill he's going to exhibit his piss-poor derivative photos in some weenie gallery owned by Jerry Filbert, although he expresses that in a more positive way than I am doing now. His good friend Jerry Filbert apparently agrees to exhibit some of the PPT's star students' photos in the a little room in the back. Where I come from, we call that little back room the adult-video section, but I'm quibbling. PPT tells Jill he'll "see him tonight." PPT walks off, and Jill has a huge moment of conscience and chases him down, only to see the PPT drive off in the back of a taxi.

Barto hustles down the apartment stairs only to run right past the Ferret of his dreams. She hollers his name and after he stops, she asks if he's okay. Barto whispers, "I think I'm losin' it," and runs out the door. The Ferret is stunned. Her eyes move from side to side to indicate this. She follows Barto and asks if he wants to talk about it. Barto says nay, he wants to forget all about it. The Ferret then offers a solution: to take a break from the city for a few days in the Berkshires. Then Tom Bosley appears behind Barto and says, "If only I were young and single and living." Barto whirls behind him, and then back to the Ferret. Caught between Scylla and Charybdis, he tells the Ferret they should get away from city. The Ferret is taken aback and says, "This is a first." Why yes it is, possibly because it's the first time you two have talked about going away together, but whatever. I'm not in the mood to nitpick. The Ferret tells Barto there's nothing he could've done. TB says, "Well, we don't know that, do we?" Barto says he needs a few moments alone. The Ferret says okay, and then, culling from her Big Book of Bob Marley Quotes Appropriate for Every Occasion says, "Everything's gonna be all right."

TB starts grilling Barto about why he wants to be a doctor, and Barto mutters something about his dad. TB sneers and says of course, but you never saw Daddy come home with blood on his hands, did you? TB then asks Barto if he thinks Samuel would've made it if Barto weren't so anxious to play doctor. I don't know about the sadistic side of Tom Bosley; I prefer my memories of him as the slightly irascible Mr. Cunningham. Barto says he doesn't know. TB says that's not the kind of confidence he looks for in a doctor. Barto turns around to reply, but TB is gone.

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Jack & Jill

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