Jack's bathroom. Jack and Jill perform their ablutions. Jill asks how Audrey is. Accusingly, Jack says, "How do you think?" After a pause she asks how Barto is. Jill replies not good. Jack says maybe they shouldn't talk about it. Jill agrees. Two seconds later, using that contradictory-yet-lovable schtick that has worked oh-so-well for her, thus far ingraining her in the hearts and minds of TV viewing audiences in Blatwell, Illinois (pop. 542), she screams, "What the hell was he thinking?" and Jill tries to defend Barto by saying, "He made a mistake." They start fighting, defending their respective friends. Jack whispers kittenishly, "I told you we shouldn't have talked about it." Can I describe to you how annoying Amanda Peet is? I think there are fungi out there who are better actors. I think you could throw a rock out a window and hit someone with more talent and comedic timing than she has. Okay, I'm fine now. Really. So Jack tells Jill maybe he should go back to his place. Jill says, "I thought this was my place." Jack stutters out that maybe he could go down there since no one's living there yet. Jill asks what they're gonna do when someone is living there and they have a fight.
Showdown at the hoedown. Cab pulls up to Ferret Flats and the Ferret herself gets out. Barto jumps out of the lurking shadows and tells her everything, the whole Friends rip-off plot, using, as far as I can tell, even the Friends dialogue, except with a few name changes. The Ferret tells him it's a lame excuse, and that's the kind of behavior she used to indulge in, and that the ironic thing is he's the one who called her on her behavior. Barto says there must be a way they can work it out. The Ferret says, "NEIN, Sie ekelhaftes whore!" or words to that effect. The Ferret tells him it's over. The Piano of Discord starts to play its lonely tune, soon joined by the Clarinet of Hackneyed Relationships.
Mikey and Elispa at a roach coach, getting coffee. Mikey tells disbelieving Elispa that he and "Paris" are going to get it on that night. Mikey also tells Elispa it was part of his new strategy, soon to be his old strategy, because he can't take it. Elispa tells him he doesn't need a strategy, that "Paris" is really into him. Mikey says really? And Elispa says, of course, who wouldn't be. Then Mikey takes a sip of his coffee and says, "I burned my larynx." Elispa repeats disbelievingly, "You burned your larynx? Who says that?" Yes. And I believe Elispa's question could be rightfully applied to every piece of dialogue ever uttered on this show.