Amish Acres. Elispa is watching The Way We Were as "Paris" and Mikey burst in, laughing. Instead of greeting them with "hello," Elispa says, "I always think if I watch it again, Hubbell and Katie will stay together." Instead of asking Elispa if she's upped her lithium dosage, "Paris" laughs, as if Elispa were cute. "Paris" asks what time it is. Mikey says 2:15. "Paris" says the night's still young. Elispa, looking down at the mouth, says she's going to go to bed. "Paris" says that sounds like a good idea, looking at Mikey. Mikey, eyebrows waggling lasciviously, says, "I agree." Elispa says goodnight. Mikey says goodnight. "Paris" says goodnight, slaps Mikey on the shoulder, and follows Elispa. Mikey, stunned, follows "Paris" so now the threesome -- haw! -- looks like a small conga line. Elispa sees "Paris" following her and halts. She says, "Paris, I'm going to my bedroom." "Paris" says, "Yeah." Elispa says, "Are you going to my bedroom, too?" "Paris" says, "Yeah." Elispa says, "Paris, I don't want you going to my bedroom." "Neither do I," chirps Mikey. "Oh," says "Paris." "Oh. My mistake." Elispa stutters that she didn't know that "Paris" was . . . "Paris" says, "Bisexual?" and Elispa says, "Oooh, that's a big word!" and Mikey says, "Not a bad word." "Paris" tells Mikey that he's sweet and the first guy she's met who hasn't tried to make a move on her, but her interests have moved elsewhere. She turns to Elispa with a vampy look. Elispa says nervously that she's enjoyed getting to know "Paris." "Paris" says vice-versa and ditto for her. Mikey says he's willing to watch them get to know each other. All six viewers shout, "Shut up, you Neanderthal moron," at Mikey. Elispa says "I'm sorry. Can't we just be friends?" "Paris" says, "I think the evening's over." Elispa says, "No, really, we can be friends!" and "Paris" gets a pensive look on her face and says, "Hmmmm. No. I'll see you around." They kiss each other on the cheek, "Paris" shakes Mikey's hand, and then she's out the door, wiping the dust of this sad little cameo off her size-eleven supermodel feet. Defeated, Mikey decides to watch Sportscenter. Elispa is amazed he's not that bummed. Mikey says he was more into the idea of "Paris" than the actual person. Elispa says she can't believe "Paris" wanted her and not Mikey (way to be sensitive, Elispa). Mikey says he's not, that if he were a lesbian he'd want Elispa, or even if he weren't a lesbian, he'd want her. Elispa points out he's not a lesbian. Mikey says, "That's true." They turn and give each other "hmmm" looks.
Jack & Jill
Episode Report CardManimal: D | 575 USERS: C+
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Jack & Jill