Everyone gapes. Audrey says, "Oh my God," and Dan says, "Paris! Over here!" Audrey says, "You know her?" and Dan says, "I represent her," and I sure hope Dan means that in the hip-hop sense, because this premise is straining the already thin Saran Wrap of credibility this show has. Because, you know, sooo many movie stars are named "Paris" (although more than a few porn stars are), and, of course, a big movie star's agent would be based in New York and would be catering to the needs of an unknown dancer, not, say, in Los Angeles, where every major talent agency is located. Yes. Dan the NLRF says, "You look amazing," and Rebecca Please Romijn HOME With Your Washed-Up Soap Star Wannabe Rocker Husband says, "Dan, you need a new line," and he says, "You look fantastic." She says, "That's a good one," and to give credit where credit is due, RRS manages to deliver her line readings fairly naturally, which is more than any other member of "Dreck and Roadkill" have been able to do. Audrey does a few weird flexes with her torso and gets introduced to "Paris Everett."
Cut to Mikey and his boss standing at the bar. The boss points out that it's Paris Everett. Mikey lists her entire filmography. The boss comments that Mikey sounds like a big fan. Mikey says, "She's perfection. I've been in love with her before I ever saw her." Say what? If anyone can give me a context for that line that makes any sense, please email it to me. The winner with the most plausible explanation wins three stale Krispy Kremes and a Duncan Imperial Butterfly yo-yo.
Back to Dan the NLRF, the Ferret, and "Paris Everett." "Paris" and Dan tell Audrey the story of "Paris's" stratospheric ride to the top, which combines all the elements of every famous actor's "I was living in a dump, twenty bucks to my name" combined with All About Eve and a touch of Lana Turner's sitting-at-the-counter-waiting-to-be-discovered urban legend. It's boring, it's stereotypical, and you can fill in the blanks. Blah blah blah, "you're next Audrey" hypecakes. "Paris" requests directions to the ladies' room and of course walks by Mikey, who gazes at her longingly. Mikey tells his boss to "cover him, he's goin' in," which I'm sure is dialogue Simon Rex has used before. Mikey wends his way through the bar so as to run into "Paris" on her way back from the loo. He says, "Wait, don't I know you?" and "Paris" gives him the fishy eyeball and then he says, "You're Paris! I met you at that convention -- people named after European cities. I'm Belgrade." "Paris" gives him an "okay, nice try" look and says, "Well, you do get points for originality," and Mikey says, "Not to mention degree of difficulty," waggling his eyebrows. "Paris" looks amused. I am not. Also, if the Encyclopedia Britannica is anything to go by (and I'm just hazarding a guess that it is), Belgrade is in Yugoslavia, and Yugoslavia is part of the Balkans. "Paris" keeps smiling at him and gives him a look that says "I'm listening," while Mikey borrows page three from Keanu Reeves' five-page repertoire of acting techniques and looks to the left, and then the right. Then he says, "I'm a little stuck, I didn't expect to get this far," and "Paris" says she didn't expect him to get this far, either. They engage in some flirtatious banter. Mikey tells her since she's new to New York she needs some tutoring in getting around the big, bad city. Mikey offers to take "Paris" on a tour of New York. Notable in this scene is that the work "neophyte" was used correctly, although not really in the proper context.