"Michael Mann" movie premiere. The Ferret is wearing a fetching cantaloupe-colored dress and is rubbernecking. "Ohmigod it's Al Pacino!" she squeals. What the hell is wrong with her? Hasn't she been a dancer/actress for a while? And Manhattan is not exactly Nibnick, Arkansas -- presumably she's seen celebrities before. Someone get this crazy bitch a Nembutal suppository. Dan introduces Audrey to "executives from Fox," and tells them that she's going to be in "Svengali for Warner Bros." The Fox execs ask questions and Dan answers them all, and the sad attempts at name dropping (Gwyneth Paltrow and Matt Damon and some other Caucasian flavors of the month) fly fast and furious. Then they schedule a meeting for Audrey and simultaneously whip out their Palm Pilots to schedule it in. Hah! What a pointed satire on fast-talking, obsessive entertainment-industry professionals, as well as a biting indictment of the ubiquity of pretentiously used technologies! Since those two topics have never been addressed before, I'm so glad the WB took the time to mine these two satirical motherlodes. Anyway, the gist of this scene is that the Ferret is getting sucked into the fetid maw of the Industry, Barto's feeling left out, and that Dan is a nasty little rotund fireplug who feels up Audrey's knee in front of Barto. Oh, and someone takes an interest in Barto, and he introduces himself as a med student at "Lamay," which sounds more like a trailer-trash beauty parlor than a med school, and the woman, also an Industry exec, says, "Oh right, the new pilot for the WB." Barto corrects her with, "No. At Lamay. In Manhattan. In real life," and she promptly loses interest and turns away. Oh, will those wacky, post-modernist WB writers never stop? How can I finish my recap when I am blindsided by the howling laughter brought on by these hilarious in-jokes? Also, if the Ferret flashes that scythe-like, obnoxious grin again, I am going to stab myself in the eye with a pen.
Jack & Jill
Episode Report CardManimal: D | 575 USERS: C+
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Jack & Jill