Next scene. Jill on the street outside Allison's apartment, holding a huge bunch of pastel-colored balloons. Allison walks out and observes, "You have balloons." Jill yaps about flowers and candy being too predictable, and he went with balloons and he's sticking by his choice. Ha-ha! Jill then goes into a big speech about how he likes Allison's honesty and how she says what's on her mind and he likes her. Allison points out his friends hate her. Jill says, who cares. Allison says, you do. He says, well, yes, but I also care about you. There is kissing. There is sighing. Jill asks if he can come in. Allison says yes.
Next scene. Barto is studying, Audrey is sitting on the couch. She spies The Joy of Tantric Sex and starts to giggle. "I'm gonna get going and let you finish your studying," she says. "No, don't go," says Barto, and reads aloud some medical gobbledygook which I 'm sure is totally inaccurate, so I won't bother repeating it. "How does that sound?" Barto asks. "Sounds great," Audrey says, then climbs into his lap. Drops of blood form at the corners of my eyes. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are?" Ferret Face says, writhing on his lap. Barto looks down, abashed: "Well, actually, no." FF says, "You are. You're the sexiest guy I've ever known." Barto says he's usually not insecure; FF says ditto for herself. Barto asks what she could possibly be insecure about. FF replies that Barto's just "so damn smart" and she feels like she's "not enough" for him. Barto says she's crazy to even think that, and they're basically both idiots. FF says it's nice to know they have something in common. Oh Christ, there is more kissing. Maybe Ferret Face will just eat Barto's head in a tender post-coital moment soon.
Elispa walks into Eddie's office (this time preceded by a knock) and does HER best Meg Ryan and hems and haws and then announces that people think they're dating. Eddie proposes that they go ahead and start dating. Elispa says, "What?" and then, "We can't," and then, "What?" again. Eddie asks what's the problem. Does she not find him attractive? Elispa says no. She's seeing someone. Eddie says okay. Elispa leaves the office and Eddie shakes his head condescendingly.