Jack & Jill
To Be Perfectly Honest

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To Be Perfectly Honest

Anchormatt is sitting on the sofa when Jack enters. He explains Audrey let him in. He then tells Jack he shouldn't have lied to her and there was no good reason, he never should've done it, and he would never hurt her. He asks if she's mad at him. Jack calls the emotional bullpen and comes up with a facial expression that says, "I dwopped my ice cweam!" and says to Anchormatt, AND I QUOTE, "I'm not mad at you, I'm sad at you." An unholy cry of terror rises from my throat. She goes into shallow pop-psychology mode and explains that she freaked herself out by how glad she was that he might be moving away, thus excusing her from having to risk intimacy. She asks how likely it is that he'll move to DC. He says it's not immediate, but it's definitely likely. She says, "Dat makee me sad," or something to that effect. "Don't be," Matt says, as if giving a command to a slow, large-wattled dog. "If I do go to Washington, we'll deal with it." "When it gets here?" says Jack, whispering. "If it gets here," Matt repeats. "When it gets here," Jack says again. Apparently they are playing some sort of relationship version of Rock, Paper, Scissors. "We'll figure it out, okay? I promise," Matt says, trumping Jack's latest verbal riposte. They lean in for the Nose Rub of Reconciliation while meaningful wailing commences and my VCR shorts out.

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Jack & Jill

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