A toaster waffle pops up and Elispa gets it, wearing pink and purple polka-dot pajamas. With her "Last Days of Pompeii" hairstyle and the aforementioned pajamas, she looks like what I imagine when I hear the words "Pierrot Lunaire." Mikey walks up in a snug heather-brown sweater and says, "Pajamas. I never pictured you in them. Or out of them. I never pictured you in the morning." Now is that any more informative than a series of diacritical marks bracketed by smart quotes? I think not. Elispa says, "Last night was fun. Gabby's great." Mikey pours a half-bottle of syrup into a coffee mug, prattling on about the possibility of creating a "roommate forum," so if either of them needs to discuss "roommate-related" issues, they can say, "Forum!" "Sounds like a good idea," says Elispa, prompting Mikey to say, "Forum!" His next statement can be paraphrased by quoting the bumper-sticker that reads, "If the van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'." "Oh," says Elispa. "You're saying you wanted her checking out your pants instead of mine." "I like the way you put things," says the smirking man-child, toasting Elispa with his mug of syrup. "This forum thing's working!" he adds. Elispa makes like the Fonz and says, "AAAAY" just as Mikey's toaster-waffle pops up and the whole scene devolves into a "Leggo my Eggo" commercial. Filmed in hell.
Lunchtime with the Thoracic Threesome. Mikey and Jill make ham-handed attempts to comfort Barto about his plummeting virility. "I'm deeply unhappy," says Barto. "You've got to account for the pressure -- it's bound to bring a man down," Mikey says. "Figuratively speaking," he adds, uproariously. "Drink eggs!" Jill exhorts, before tapering off into incoherent mumbles. Barto asks what his next step should be and his bachelor brethren invoke "medication" and "health insurance coverage." "Oh my God!" Barto spazzes, "Just kill me now, please!" "What did Audrey say?" Jill asks. Barto hisses, "She said, 'Oh, baby, I love when you do that to me' -- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK SHE SAID?" Clearly, Barto's last batch of weed was laced with some street-grade PCP. Jill cajoles him into admitting she said it was cute, and they all groan with empathetic emasculation. Barto says something about figuring this out alone and Mikey recycles some dialogue from Young, Hard and Solo, saying, "Good idea. A little alone time never hurts. Just to get it working again, you know?" He illustrates by making the universal "wanking" hand gesture. "It works!" says Barto, a little protest-too-muchly, "It works." He storms out, leaving Jill and Mikey to say, respectively, "Ow!" and "Glad it ain't me."