A belly dancer undulates to a sitar as the camera pans through yet another obscurely ethnic restaurant festooned with giant gongs. Jack is bringing a whole new meaning to the term "finger food" by all but using her hand as a shovel on her cous-cous. Big as her yap is, she still ends up wearing her meal. She stops a befezzed waiter to demand a fork, but Jill bribes him not to give her one. Showing some of the screwball comedic genius that makes her beloved of movie critics from Roger Ebert to Andrew Sarris, Amanda Peet plays this entire scene with her mouth full to bursting. She pushes her plate toward Jill and challenges him to show her his technique. He manages to scoop up some items with pita bread without spilling. Jack smirks yuckily, and Jill asks what she thinks, exposing a cleft chin so cavernous that it looks like a baby's ass has been grafted onto his face. "I think I wuv you," says Jack in a baby-whimper, prompting Jill to look crestfallen. "I know I took it back before, but I don't want to take it back, because I feel it, and if I feel it then I should be able to say it, and I don't think it should matter who says it first or whether the other person says it back or not -- it's the millennium, for crying out loud. So there it is." Oh, Jack? Woody Allen's on line two, he wants his neurotic run-on sentence back. Or at least your coach-class imitation of it. "I love you," she adds in a laughing-gas falsetto. Jill all but spits up his beverage and says, "Thank you," with palpable boredom, while Ivan Sergei wonders what went wrong in his screen test for Kiss Me, Guido. Sadly and surreally, Jack's hair looks almost touchable in this scene -- but there is no one hankering to touch it.
The bachelors jog across an intersection somewhere in the heart of ManNOTtan. Mikey congratulates Jill on not caving to Jack's expectation that he conform to "I love you" reciprocity. "The thing is, I just want to make sure I mean it," Jill says. "I mean, I've said it before. But all those, you know, they ended." What with the variously fuzzy (Barto) to bristly (Jill 'n' Mikey) naps of their hair, the bachelors look like a gaggle of plush toys in this scene. Mikey makes some noises that sound like human speech, Barto responds with marginally more cogent noises, and Jill says, "Next person I say it to, I just want to make sure it's the last person. You know, the very last person." It is at this pivotal moment, with Jill squinting into the sun, that I realize he also has a cleft in his forehead, making his face resemble a parenthetical phrase turned sideways. "You are one sensitive guy," says Mikey, and Jill says, "I am. I'm a sensitive guy," before swaggering up to the ticket counter and ordering "three for Blood, Guts and Revenge."