Jake 2.0
Double Agent

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When Bionics Met Nanites

Credits. Jake's life just got reeeeeal interesting.

We're back at $6 Million's pad, and after zooming in on a black model car with massive tailfins, we arrive at the wet bar. Jake and The Man sit like school kids on phone books at a boring church spaghetti dinner. Jake coughs politely at $6 Million's cigar smoke. $6Mil doesn't notice, and is jovial. "Anybody want a Fresca?" No thank you, sir. $6 Million flips open Subjectovitch's file for a look-see. "She always was a real bastard. You boys got a problem, all right." Right. Which is why they stopped by, Mister Fox. $6 Million fixes Jake in his sights and says bluntly, "Dick." Heh. Well, then. Maybe "Dick" has an idea on how to capture Subjectovitch? The Man takes a deep breath and says, "At the risk of sounding corny, your country needs you." Oh, really? $6 Million is gruff as he holds out his wrist. "I gave them thirty years of my life and they gave me this nifty watch." Not that he's ungrateful. He just needs a bit more motivation than knowing the good old US of A is in need. Like, maybe an $80,000 retainer? The Man doesn't think he can swing that. Okay, "Dick" is flexible. "I was just kidding. Make it fifty." Then Jake, complete nerdlinger who reads all the fine print, looks at the contract: Dick Fox can be called back into active duty at any time. Failure to do so could result in imprisonment or suspension of pension. $6 Million looks at The Man and says, "I thought you were the smart one." The Man thought so too. And Jake has never looked smittier than he does right now. Okay, $6 Million is on board. "But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this my way. Is that clear." Jake and The Man exchange meaningful looks (drink!) and say he can take it up with their boss. $6 Million says that oh, he will. What's his name? Meaningful look part the second, with a wry glance. Drink again.

And Leader of the Pack earns her close-up. $6 Million is all, "Hot damn!" Yup. A lady boss! That's almost as rare as a bionic dog! Well, maybe a little more common. Leader gives a little exposition: Subjectovitch is back on US soil, and slipped through the NSA's fingers just the other day. $6 Million barks a laugh and says, "Who was the pinhead who let that happen?" Jake steps up to take credit. "Uh, I would be that pinhead, sir." And Jake don't wanna be a pinhead no more. He just realized that he could go far. He ain't living on Chinese rock, and none of his things are in the pawn shop. Hey, ho. Let's go. One two three four. $6 Million asks if Jake was sober at the time of his fumble. Yes! Of course. Buttocks tightly clenched, the whole nine. $6 Million says, "Well, that was your first problem." You wanna catch a goose? You gotta be loose. $6 Million guesses that Jake was doing "everything they were telling [him] to do." Jake shifts a bit and says he was trying to. Leader breaks in and asks if they can move forward. Copy that.

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Jake 2.0

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