Jake 2.0
Double Agent

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When Bionics Met Nanites

Some people will take their lovers' names with them to the grave. They can and will deny up and down ever colliding with someone or another. But other people end up telling you waaaay too many details. Where's the happy medium? I find the best method is to never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to, and that asking is the only way you're going to find out anything interesting (except in the cases of the constant blabber).

When I asked Styles if he had ever dated one of his very close girlfriends, he said no, but she had slept over a few times. That makes me wonder -- same-sex non-sexual sleepovers? -- but I accepted what he told me. What choice do I have, right? And when I asked Funhouse if he had ever slept with his female friend he's known for forever and who leaves him short funny messages on his answering machine, he freaked. OUT. Was I jealous? I'm the one with the harem. What, did I not trust him? Was he not allowed to have female friends? And yes, he had, once. Was he not allowed to talk to her again? Was I going to hate her? To answer his questions in order, no; yes, I do; yes, he is; and no, I was not. I just wanted to know. That's it. And the only way I would have found out was by asking.

Dr. Thora comes back into her lab and asks why isn't $6 Million's shirt off. And if he asks why her shirt isn't off, she'll stab him with a scalpel. $6 Million takes Dr. Thora's lab report and tears it up. She must have not read it before entering the room, 'cause she protests weakly and asks that he not destroy stuff. Then Leader comes in and asks if $6 Million is ready to go, and "Jake? This one is by the book." Jake goggles his eyes at her and is all, spoilsport. I mean, yes, Tankbuster, ma'am.

Car dealership. $6 Million likes the look of a Mach One 315 Ford Mustang, black and yellow with that crazy thing coming out of the hood and fins. It's a vintage muscle car, and totally hot. Jake sputters that $6 Million spent almost all their expense account money on a car? $6 Million says that what you drive can mean the difference between coming back from a mission alive or dead, and "numbers-crunchers back in headquarters will never understand a thing that." Now, does Jake want to know the secret to this job? Get in the car. The secret is, "Go with your gut. At the end of the day, all that matters is that the job is done right." Then they gun out of the parking lot and head towards Atlantic City.

A waitress spins some drinks on a tray towards $6 Million and Jake. A.C. has never looked so glamorous. They scope out the scene, and as Jake talks out a plan, $6 Million heads for the nearest blackjack table and plunks down over a grand. Jake worriedly asks if he's going to blow the rest of their expense account gambling. No. There's also going to be drinking. Winnah! $6 Million wins, doubles down, orders a double scotch, then sends Jake to go check out a Russkie by the bar.

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Jake 2.0

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