Jake 2.0
Double Agent

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When Bionics Met Nanites

$6 Million slams up to an eerily-lit road, filled with Russkies, cars, and guns. They're all a little bit tough on $6 Million, particularly the beautiful Subjectovitch, who says, "I slept with you many times, but I never trusted you." Does $6 Million have what he promised? They open the trunk, and there's the cocktail waitress, bound and gagged. In return, he gets a suitcase full of dollars. He says, "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." What the hell just happened? He gave them some random cocktail waitress?

Back in Dr. Thora's lab, Jake sits with ramrod posture and gets checked out. Just some lacerations and bruises, nothing major. He'll be fine. And every available agent is on $6 Million's trail. "Between you and me, I thought he was a bit of a nutcake." Yeah, clearly not fruity at all. Or spongy. She also could have called him a pound cake, since that probably is up $6 Million's alley. So to speak. Jake leans in to her and asks if, before the nanite program, there were any other enhancement programs within the NSA. Dr. Thora doesn't know for sure, but she would guess yeah. "The NSA has more research money than any other government agency, and a mandate to stay ahead of the curve." Cool. So, does Jake think they did something to $6 Million? Jake says he doesn't think $6Mil was crazy, but rather "knew what he was doing every step of the way." Hey, you two, you're wanted in the War Room.

Hey, it's $6 Million -- Dick. But he's all groomed and in a suit and with great posture and it seems like something long and stiff has been shoved up his ass. And not for recreation. Jake says, "D-Dick?" No. His name is "Richard." He's been in "Finland on a consulting job for the last month, he came as soon as he got [the NSA's] message." Leader and The Man look bemused; Jake, flummoxed. Heh. They're twinsies. Or maybe robots!

Leader is not. Having it. "I don't know what kind of mind game you're running, but you've got some explaining to do." Richard, all Just For Men and hairspray and starchy collar, says he can't believe they let some guy wander in there and pretend to be him. Jake asks hurriedly about the possibility of body doubles or switching or multiple personalities, and The Man shushes him. "You've been watching too many spy movies." Heh. Richard asks if this mission has anything to do with ex-KGB agents from back in the day. Leader says she ain't talking until they found out who this Richard person is. "Well then, let me do the sharing then [sic]." Richard gets all exposition-y on what happened to him. A Soviet team created doubles of American agents using surgery, drugs, conditioning, and language programs. Leader tries to find this project (Crimean, it's called), but it doesn't exist in the computer. Richard says, "It's on microfiche, in the basement, code name 'Double,' protected under the 1982 National Security Act. Only accessible to deputy directors and above." And please, call him Agent Fox. Leader storms off to the basement to look for the file with as much dignity and disdain as she can muster up. Agent Fox Part the Second says he'll wait for his blood work and fingerprints to be taken. And will Dr. Thora be doing that? She fixes him with a wry, scornful look that is just so cute.

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Jake 2.0

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