Jake 2.0

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: A | Grade It Now!
Are you stuck in the middle (way-oh, way-oh!)?

Leader and The Man hunker down for another lengthy, detailed rant from La Fortunada. The corporation that fronted the cash to Creepiovitch is a front for local Mafia types, mainly KGB. Leader is all, "Why would ex-KGB want to send a mercenary to D.C.?" Because they're infatuated with nanotechnology. "Whoever they are, they're obsessed and they have deep, deep pockets. Whoever it is, you better get them protected, since it's not going to end with this Vassily character." Jake! Leader and The Man are out of there.

Sitting on a park bench, Whocaresah is stunned. Jake has, I guess, spilled his entire story to his college crush. She's all, "There's these tiny robots? And they got inside you? And now you have these superhuman abilities? Okay." She stands up, then wheels around and smacks him in the face. "I just asked you to be honest with me, Jake! You know what? It's been a blast." That chick just does not listen. Jake watches her go, and then a car screeches up the path behind him. It's The Man. Jake shields his eyes from the glare of the headlights. "Do you have to be so dramatic?" The Man is all, "Get in."

So, 46 minutes in, Jake learns the news that Creepiovitch is really after nanotechnology. "He could have had me -- twice!" But Jake's nano-stuff is classified information. Dr. Thora's name is probably a little better known, right? The Man and Jake head off to the hamster habitrail to ask Creepiovitch some questions.

Too late. His throat has been slit. More of a slash, really. He's dead. The Man yells at the oblivious security guard, who stammers that no unauthorized personnel have been in to visit the prisoner. Well, that means it was an authorized person that killed him. Who? Right. Seminar Playa. He's a mole, a spy, and cut out the middleman (Creepiovitch) to deliver the goods himself.

And deliver he will -- he and Dr. Thora are in the car, dressed up all nice. Where are they going, asks Dr. Thora? Oh, says SP, it's a surprise.

Okay, 51 minutes in, and we know the villains and what has to happen. I hope we can wrap this up in time for the scenes from next week! This show is slow to unfold. In the War Room, the staff pinpoints Dr. Thora's location.

Dr. Thora gets out of SP's car, which is parked by the water. A lovely boat bobs nearby. Does Dr. Thora like boats? She does. Ooh, boats! Too bad it's an evil boat. An evil, climactic boat.

The Man and Kyle rush past a billboard that says unconvincingly that "Virginia is for lovers." Jake is open-mouthed, a ball of stress. I hate billboards too, man.

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Jake 2.0




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