Credits. Jake's life just got reeeeal interesting.
NSA campus. Witchay Woman hails Jake in the hallway, then adds with a brittle, chipper note, "Please. Call me Valerie." Jake looks away from her with that expression of "ew" and "oh, shit -- Witchay is trying to cozy up to me." He slides into The Leader's office and says Witchay was "pleasant," and that he's "reeeally scared." Leader says there's a reason for her bright new attitude: Jake's new assignment, to guard Prince Malik. Jake's close to his age, after all, and The Man adds, "You are the ultimate surveillance equipment." The Man will keep an eye out for sleeper cells. And hey, what about the whole talk about making Jake disappear? Any new thoughts on that? Jake doesn't have any new thoughts on that, and for the time being, he's cool on watching the Prince. "I've never seen a moat!" Really? I see a dork, and it's you, Jake.
Lights up on a generic college campus. Jake stalks the green in a brown jacket and backpack, and is promptly beaned by a Frisbee. A woman across the green radios in: "Are you okay?" Jake's fine, and "there's no need to put that in the report." Sure there is. It's hilarious! Jake tosses the Frisbee back so hard it breaks a window. Sigh. He don't know his own nanite-enhanced strength yet. I mean, "again."
Jake hops up some beautiful red wood stairs in search of the Prince. At the top of the stairs is a formidable package -- a strapping, unsmiling African man. Jake introduces himself smurfily, and when the man doesn't respond, he says, "Jambo?" Ree? Jamboree?" The man barely perceptibly cocks an eyebrow, then we hear a chuckle. It's a slightly smaller, slightly hipper African-American sounding man, who says he doesn't think his large-size friend speaks Swahili. The big guy, Tracy, says he "grew up in Vermont." So, syrup me, then. The smaller guy is Prince Mailk, and he warns Jake that if he ever bows or calls Malik "Your Highness," he's fired. And what's with Jake, anyway? "Are they downsizing at the NSA?" He means 'cause Jake is skinny, see. Jake jokes, "Didn't you hear? Scrawny is the new big." And honesty is the new irony, and Jake, in bodyguard terms, scrawny will never be "it." The Prince starts with the ground rules: he doesn't like bodyguards. "That's not suave! So you keep your distance and nobody gets hurt." Jake is afraid that Malik will. Malik takes a pause and says, "You're not hanging with me, man. At least not in those clothes." Ooh, makeover time! It's African Prince Eye for the Geeky Guy! I love this show!