So we cut to Jake, looking deeply uncomfortable in his blue track suit as he shifts from foot to foot, looking through a chain link fence onto a basketball court. As if to ram down our throats that Jake's out of his element, hip-hop music blares. Adroit African-Americans play basketball with grace and style. Jake's cell phone rings, and he tells The Man that things with the Prince are, on a scale of one to ten, "a two." The Man tells Jake to look for emails or communication from the King to his son, since he thinks the King could only be honest with his heir. Jake sees Malik's palm pilot sticking out of his gym bag, and gets an idea.
Jake takes a seat on the bench and nanite-spies into Malik's PDA. Then a baller yells, "Hey you?" Jake says he was just, uh...oh, they want him to play? He's "not what the doctors call coordinated." Great, more geek-out-of-classroom-but-he's-really-a-great-asset scenes. Jake does miserably at first; then Malik asks for a sidebar. Someone on the other team, in the great tradition of trash-talking street basketball, wonders if "Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner are going to get back into the game." Ooh, what a ridiculous burn. And does everyone know Jake is Malik's bodyguard? Malik tells Jake to sit this game out, and Jake says, "Remember when I said I was doing my best? I lied." Then he makes a three-point shot and Malik is all, not bad! Then we get the requisite scene of Jake housing all the other players with his souped-up nanite-enhanced speed and agility. Who knew nanites gave you game? And if these two were girls, this would so totally be a shopping montage.
Back at the glamorous dorm, Malik asks where Jake learned to play like that. Akron. And Malik? Well, he learned at the hands of one Michael Jordan. "Dad flew him out for a week." Jake goes, "Yeah. Well, I uh, owned a pair of Air Jordans once." Dude. I own a pair now. Black and purple, circa 1990. They're practically mint, baby. I'm going to sell them to help put my unborn children through college. eBay! Malik says Jake is a good guy, and he doesn't often say that, since his father raised him to trust no one. And that dad of his has done a lot of things he's not proud of, either. But that's the way it goes, and that's the way it will be for him when he's king. Jake, a.k.a. Sir Ethics-a-Lot, says, "Why don't you think you can change it?" 'Cause it's Malik's destiny. Wow, just one basketball game and these two are bonding like they've spent a whole semester together. What about hazing? Malik makes Jake wear one dorky track suit, and then he impresses Malik on the court, and kaboom, they're instant confidantes? And then, Jake resumes his spy duties by noting Malik's gym bag. Finally, the inevitable betrayal, now that Malik has Jake's trust. When Malik goes to crash, Jake snags his PDA. Malik says Jake can "keep" or "burn" the track suit (my suggestion? Sell it on eBay), and Jake laughs nervously. Night! I'm just gonna go spy on ya now, Your Highn-- never mind.