Jake 2.0
Prince And The Revolution

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Alex Richmond: B- | Grade It Now!
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Would I Die 4 U?

They do. They board the elevator; Jake dismantles the security camera inside and they talk. The Man knows Jake handed Malik over to Earl for the disappearing act thing. "You do know that was a one-time only deal. You gave Malik your ticket to a new life." Hey, that's because Jake cares more about some guy he just met than himself. I mean, if Jake lives, he can save more people than if he had run off to the border as a new person, with all that nanotechnology inside him. No, wait -- Jake can do more good for the world working for the U.S. government than if he assumed a new identity -- no, none of this is ringing true. Let's try this: Jake 2.0 wants to stay on the air, so this plot about ethics and corruption is just kinda weak, but no one really minds since its a fun show. Jake just says, "He needed it more." Um, Jake? How do you know that? You played one freaking basketball game with the guy, and he housed you in calculus class. So his life is worth more? Come on. Oh, right; Jake is forever learning obvious lessons for doofi who haven't fully matured yet. The Man says Jake has "a good heart," but that his "timing" may be off. Look at this other photo of one of Baako's sleepers: Anna. So, Anna works for Baako. And now they're assumed dead, but really together somewhere with new identities. But even though this is obviously going to be a happy ending, the music gets all tense and poundy as Jake realizes he "sent her away" with Malik. The Man intones, "And now she's going to kill him." Go, tense keyboard, go!

The Man and Jake show up at Earl's shop for a little eyebrow-beetling and wrench-rattling intimidation. Like, where are Malik and Anna? The Man, in the tightest close-up of his life, says, "Now listen. You're not the only one who knows how to make people disappear!" Earl folds faster than Martin Sheen at that celebrity poker tournament (for his favorite charity!).

Cut to a glass of wine being poured. Mmmm. Hey, did you know Keckler and I like the same wine? Well, we do. It's from Abruzzo. Also, she drank Romulan Ale when we were in Vegas, and it made her teeth blue. I just wanted to give Keckler a shout-out. The wine goes "nuk nuk nuk nuk nuk" into a glass, and Anna hands it to Malik. He asks why he feels like a coward. She says he's not a coward.

Jake and The Man speed away in a car, saying, "We're going to have to handle this ourselves."

Malik sits on a bed moodily. Anna says she loves him, and he says without looking at her, "Love you too, babe." He seems distracted. She says weepily, "They told me to get close to you. But I got too close. I'm sorry." Then she lifts a huge, fierce knife high into the air. Malik grabs it and shouts, "Anna, stop!"

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Jake 2.0

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