Jake 2.0
Prince And The Revolution

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Would I Die 4 U?

Back at the NSA, Jake and Dr. Thora have a drink in her lab. How awesome to see that keeping booze in the office is a tradition kept alive by Generation X. Now, who do I talk to about the whole not-reading-newspapers thing? Just kidding. I know why young people don't read newspapers anymore -- because there isn't enough cursing. Anyway, the bottle Dr. Thora has looks like Goldschlager (blech!), but the liquid is amber-colored, like whiskey. Good for her. She says Jake "needs to make peace" with the ways of the NSA, since "at the end of the day," there's nothing he can do about it. It's true. Shake it off, Jake. But he can't. He doesn't know if he can do this anymore. Dr. Thora says she would understand if he didn't or couldn't come to work for the NSA anymore, but she would "really, really miss" him. Oh, yeah. This should be the part when they kiss. But they don't! Dammit! They just look at each other meaningfully (sip!), then look back down at their glasses.

The Man and Jake shake hands. The Man says, "Sorry it wasn't enough." It sounds so final!

So, Jake meets the man who knows how to make people disappear. Earl, he's called. "Though everyone who calls me that turns up dead." Jake is all, "What do we do?" Earl says, "We don't do anything. You give me your car, credit cards, and ID, kiss 'em goodbye. Couple days from now, your neighbors discover a horrible stench." And your new identity, also created by Earl, carries you over the border. Jake asks if the new identity is "bullet-proof." Earl says, "It's Kevlar." That is so corny. Is this new identity Superman's cape? Dude, It's Wonder Woman's bracelets.

Morning at the NSA. Dr. Thora nervously hops and skips into the War Room. I wonder if Keegan ever had any dance training. She breathlessly asks if anyone saw Jake this morning. The Man says, "You won't." Sad Piano goes into overdrive as Dr. Thora looks down with a big ole pouty lower lip. Come on, lip. I don't see enough trembling! Tremble for me! Say my name! Up in the War Room box seats, Silver Fox and Witchay Woman look on Dr. Thora's heartbreak and smile their patented evil smiles. Dr. Thora turns to walk away, and the doors to the War Room slide open a la Star Trek, and who walks through the door, fetchingly back-lit and in a cute white shirt? That's right. One Jake Foley. Dr. Thora, becoming the most like a Bond girl as she has in her tenure in this role, gasps, "Jake!" He's all, what? She smiles and says he's late for his morning workout. Then the NWN broadcast comes on, and The Man learns that Malik was killed in a car bombing early that morning. Also killed was "an unknown female companion," probably Anna. Hmmm...could it be? That Jake got Earl to do to Malik what was gonna be arranged for him? But we're only 47 minutes in -- could there be an actual twist to this slowly unfolding flat sheet of a plot? Silver Fox and Witchay look at each other meaningfully. Sip! The Man says to Jake, "Let's go take a walk."

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Jake 2.0

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