Jake 2.0
Jake 2.0

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: A | 458 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Good, The Bad, And The Geeky

Back at Hacker's Lucite cell, The Man sits on an office chair outside and stares. The reflection of Hacker in his white jumpsuit and ninja/Ked slippers looks cool. It's very Geek Scared Straight, except he's Really Plotting Everyone's Downfall, Starting With Jake, Sucka. Hacker asks if the staring is "some silent Zen torture." The Man asks if he understands that "the only way out is to cut a deal." Hacker wants to know what made The Man think he'd want to cut a deal. "Oh, I get it...you sent little Jakey to pose as me and you're scared he'll be exposed!" The Man takes his hand off his chin and looks at Hacker blankly. Hacker comments on his "terrible poker face." Then he says something in Latin, which means "he who is silent is understood to agree." The Man says, "It's people like you that [are the reason] I love the Patriot Act." Wow, I can't believe he said that! Hacker says that even if Jake fools the other cyber-thieves temporarily, he may not be able to resist the lure of all that cash and glamour. "I know I couldn't." The Man gets up and says something in Latin or Spanish and walks off without translating it for Hacker, or us. Hey, I need closure on that anecdote! Give a state-school grad a break!

Das Geeks and Jake go clubbing in Berlin. Jake is all, "Wow!" He gets online and tries to chat up some blondes, then realizes that Das Geeks have bribed the doormen and are already in the door. He recovers and follows them inside.

Someone on the boards knew the song playing in the club as they go in. It's pretty good, very danceable, naturally. The camera gets all wavy to simulate a drunk's POV. Very wavy, lots of trails. Jake weaves his way through the crowd, then finds the fourth member of their gang, MacP. He's weaselly and blond, a fuglier Seann William Scott. And who's this? A LADY hacker? A hot babe lady cyber-criminal? Who addresses Jake-posing-as-Hacker with a teasing, sexy familiarity? She says he's not what she expected. Jake asks what she did expect. She says, "Less," and walks off. Oof! She's quite a doll.

Jake 2.0

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